Disney Buys the Vatican, Declares Crusades Non-Canon
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan Burbank, CA — After two decades spent purchasing beloved storytelling institutions, the Walt Disney Company has managed
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Bible Fan’s Favorite Part is the Cousin Sex
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan JONESBOROUGH, TN — An explosive revelation arrived straight out of Saint Peter’s Church as 14-year-old Jacob Barrow
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Study Abroad Student Now Just Well-Rounded Piece of Sh*t
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sydney Sanchez USC — College senior Heather Huckabee returned to campus this fall after spending a semester abroad in
Read moreScientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka NEW YORK CITY, NY – For centuries, scientists, philosophers, and teenagers have ferociously debated what, exactly, constitutes
Read moreClimate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Colin McIsaac LOS ANGELES, CA — A team of scientists gathered at the University of Southern California on Tuesday
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New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Colin Mullins HARVARD, CONN. — After less than a minute of analysis, researchers have concluded that three “alt-rights” do
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“People Need to Be More Open-Minded,” Asserts Woman Who Unfriended Everyone with Different Views
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte SILVER LAKE, CA — Saddened by the country’s deep ideological divisions, local woman Marilyn Reed made a
Read moreStudy Finds DayQuil To Be Gateway Drug To NyQuil
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Michael Savio WASHINGTON — The Food and Drug Administration confirmed in a recent study that use of the drug
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God Confirms One Like Equivalent To One Prayer
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Michael Savio HEAVEN – At a recent press conference, our divine Lord and Creator stated that, without a doubt,
Read moreBusty 10-Point Buck Has Back Problems, Gets Antler Reduction Surgery
[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]photo by Martin Driver[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]THE WOODS — After years of back pain, whitetail buck, Daniel Deerson, made
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