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Local News in Brief 

Apology: We Wrote a Report on Biden’s Fiscal Policy, But Devious Leprechauns Dyed it Green

March 17, 2021June 9, 2021 Preston Long

By Preston Long LOS ANGELES, CA —At its founding, the Sack of Troy dedicated itself to one thing: holding the

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Local 

Plane Forced To Land After Fight Breaks Out Over Which Jonas Brother is the Hottest

March 10, 2021March 9, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp FORT WORTH, TX – An American Airlines flight to Washington, DC was diverted to New Jersey after

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Local 

Local Idiot Wants Pink Lightsaber when OBVIOUSLY That Color Isn’t Even Canon

February 26, 2021February 21, 2021 Hannah Ryan

By Hannah Ryan CULVER CITY, CA – A local Star Wars LARPing group has been torn apart by recent allegations

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Local 

Elderly Dog Proves He’s Still Got It By Humping Every Small Dog He Meets

February 22, 2021February 22, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp LOS ANGELES, CA — Resident barker Rocky, a 14-year-old beagle, continuously proves to his dad “he’s still

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Local 

New Yorkers Revel in Not Having the Most Embarrassing Weather for Once

February 18, 2021October 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff BUFFALO, NEW YORK – As winter storms bombard communities from Texas to the Atlantic coast, New Yorkers are

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Local News in Pictures 

Gross! This Guy Drives a PT Cruiser

February 17, 2021June 12, 2021 Mia Young

By Mia Young

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Local 

Report: Your High School Bully Actually Made Some Good Points

February 16, 2021February 16, 2021 Darrien Snyder

By Darrien Snyder LOS ANGELES, CA —Everyone has trouble with constructive criticism, but you may have fumbled the ball when

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Attention Vortex Local 

Quiz: How Alone Will You Be On Valentine’s Day On A Scale from ‘Very Alone’ to ‘I’m Willing to Take a Quiz About This’

February 12, 2021February 11, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes With Valentine’s Day around the corner, the question on everyone’s mind is: how alone will I be

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College Local USC 

Local Girl Catches Covid So She Can Blame Quarantine For Being Lonely On Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2021February 11, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – USC student Sarah Miller was elated to find out she had contracted COVID-19

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Local 

Girl Watching True Crime Just Looking for Creative Ways She Could Be Murdered

February 10, 2021February 10, 2021 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA – A barrel at the bottom of the lake. Suffocated by a pillowcase in

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows
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Article Roulette

Talk About a Real Family Man! This Emmy Nominated TV Writer Just Moved Back in With His Parents

Talk About a Real Family Man! This Emmy Nominated TV Writer Just Moved Back in With His Parents

July 13, 2023 Levi Elias No Comment

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