Upperclassmen Reminiscing About Café 84 Like it was Fucking Woodstock
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery USC — On Thursday, freshman Marissa Kwon made a grievous mistake when she mentioned the Café 84
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Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have
Read moreSam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie
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Pole Everyone Kicks During Football Games Speaks Out About Abuse
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas EXPOSITION BLVD, CA — USC faced a new scandal this week as that one pole everyone kicks
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SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name
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Study Abroad Student Now Just Well-Rounded Piece of Sh*t
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sydney Sanchez USC — College senior Heather Huckabee returned to campus this fall after spending a semester abroad in
Read moreBicycle Cop Races Through Village in Hot Pursuit of Dignity
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Amanda Douglas USC VILLAGE – Bicycle cops roam the Village at all times, keeping their eyes peeled for reckless
Read moreBoard of Trustees Replaces Interim President with New Starbucks
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – After a grueling search to permanently fill the vacant position of President after the resignation
Read moreWow! The Sack of Troy Writing Staff Got Really Hot Over the Summer!
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Cameron Wen Formerly a pale bunch of malnourished nerds, the Sack of Troy writing staff has returned from summer
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Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey With a shocking change of character, the once-cuddly, beloved EVKitty is now intimidating transfer students for meal
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