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Attention Vortex College Sports Uncategorized USC 

All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”

August 24, 2025August 26, 2025 Charlotte Phillipp

By Charlotte Deckle LOS ANGELES, CA — With football walk-on tryouts just around the corner, legions of wannabe Trojan football

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Attention Vortex 

DALL-E 2, Unprompted, Depicts Biblically-Accurate Caucasian Jesus for Easter Sunday

April 6, 2023April 9, 2023 Jackson Irvine

By Jackson Irvine SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Ahead of Easter Sunday, a suddenly sentient DALL-E 2 depicted a biblically-accurate white

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Attention Vortex 

Ratatouille Sequel? This Movie is About a Guinea Pig Who Writes Funny Letterboxd Reviews Under This Guy’s A24 Hat

March 20, 2023March 19, 2023 Liam Stephenson

By Liam Stephenson LOS ANGELES, CA – Pixar fans and insufferable people rejoice! Disney has released the trailer to “Five

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Attention Vortex 

Top 10 V-Day Gifts to Make Your GF Forgive Your Medium Ugly Ass for Forgetting Valentine’s Day

February 15, 2023February 21, 2023 Malaya Galindez

By Malaya Galindez Forgot yesterday was Valentine’s Day? You’re not alone. Women everywhere are questioning why they picked their stupid,

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Attention Vortex 

McDonald’s Adult Happy Meals Reflect 1980’s Nostalgia with Mini Collapsing Berlin Wall Toy

January 16, 2023January 14, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias  CHICAGO, IL – McDonald’s, home of the infamous McDonald’s Sprite, has partnered with Cactus Plant Flea Market

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Attention Vortex 

Best Pickup Lines to Use on Your Hot Relatives

November 24, 2022November 23, 2022 Jess Wild

By Jessica Wild Thanksgiving is a time where family has the wonderful opportunity to gather, dine on delicious food, and

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Attention Vortex 

Line Up Ladies! The GEICO Gecko Is Hot Now

September 20, 2022September 19, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler CHEVY CHASE, MD – Earlier this week, GEICO unveiled a new, sexier look for their iconic lizard,

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Attention Vortex News in Brief USC 

Breaking: Bruh

January 8, 2022January 8, 2022 Darrien Snyder

“Dude. This completely blindsided me. Who the hell saw this coming? Who could have guessed? I am shocked. I am

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Attention Vortex Editorial 

8 Normalized Things We Need To Start Sexualizing

December 14, 2021December 14, 2021 Finn Kobler

By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be

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Attention Vortex 

Quiz: Are You Sad or Hungry?

March 4, 2021March 3, 2021 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman COVID-19 has really messed up our lives, which is not cool! Life has been more difficult for

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Recent Posts

  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
  • All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”
  • Big Beautiful Bill Requires Everyone on Medicaid to Just, Like, Figure it Out
  • Carol Folt Dead

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Lorenzo Buys Hollywood Sign, Replaces it with Advertisement for Affordable Student Housing

February 6, 2014 Staff No Comment

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