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World

World 

Depressed Groundhog: “Who Cares?”

February 2, 2023February 2, 2023 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA — This morning, America’s beloved Punxsutawney Phil refused to leave his burrow citing his lack

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World 

Study Finds That Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations For Pizza Deliveries

January 26, 2023January 24, 2023 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas JACKSONVILLE, FL – Researchers at The Institute For Hookup Discovery have found that 90% of porn watchers

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World 

BREAKING: Ye Caught Stealing Jewish Kids’ Gifts From Under Tree All Along

December 25, 2022December 22, 2022 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk WHOVILLE — After waking up little Cindy-Lou Whoberg, Ye was caught tip-toeing into a Jewish household and

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World 

Man Pre-Games Driving

December 15, 2022December 14, 2022 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Beloved drunkard Reuben Waine celebrated his employment as a driver by pregaming his first

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World 

From the Archives: Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Rated One of Best Places to Work

November 8, 2022November 7, 2022 Rachel Michelman

February 10, 1911 NEW YORK CITY, NY – Life’s a buzz for the lovely ladies of Manhattan’s Triangle Shirtwaist Factory

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World 

These Two Guys With Eyepatches Are Disrupting The Cargo Industry

October 24, 2022October 23, 2022 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk SOMALIA  — Last Friday, two eye-patched founders joined the Fortune 500 with their disruptive cargo startup, Plundr. 

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World 

Swiss Prostitute Sex Neutral

October 23, 2022October 23, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS — Celia Müller, a Geneva native, has taken a sex neutral approach to her sex

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World 

Cremations Now Made With Pumpkin Spice

October 6, 2022October 4, 2022 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas SEATTLE, WA – Fall is here and it’s time the crematories got in on the fun! All

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World 

Local 7 Year Old Caught Funneling Lemonade Stand Profits To Somalian Paramilitary Group

September 8, 2022September 7, 2022 Gitika Pahwa

By Gitika Pahwa FAIR HAVEN, VT – Local parents are in shock following news that a Lincoln Elementary 2nd grader’s

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World 

Capitalist Nightmare: Sickly Woman Forced to Work Until The Day She Died

September 8, 2022September 8, 2022 Staff

By Mia Young and Preston Long LONDON, ENGLAND — In a shocking display of cruel, capitalistic inhumanity, area old woman

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The New Chipotle Detox!

January 18, 2016 Rob Smat No Comment

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