Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Sports

Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020July 23, 2020 Finn Kobler

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Finn Kobler Frat registers shut down by police. Q&A screenings with directors who never showed. That one thing Fetti

Read more
Local Sports 

Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far

December 4, 2019 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL — Local sixth grader Jeffrey Sanderson cemented his status as the undisputed king of

Read more
Local Sports 

Huge Skateboard No Match For Tiny Rock

December 2, 2019January 21, 2021 Seth Woodhouse

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Seth Woodhouse  LOS ANGELES, CA — It was like any Tuesday for Gerald the Carbon GTR Skateboard, as his

Read more
Sports 

12 Year Old Receives 3 Miami Dolphins Players in Trade for Full Size Snickers Bar

October 31, 2019January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone MIAMI, FLORIDA — In a move that shocked analysts and organizations throughout  the league, local 12-year-old Bryce Davidson

Read more
College Sports 

Student Running to Class Gripping Freshly Printed Essay Like It’s the Goddamn Olympic Torch

October 25, 2019June 19, 2020 Dan Toomey

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Dan Toomey  TROUSEDALE PARKWAY — Students gawked in anticipation and embarrassment on Friday as a heaving, perspiring freshman sprinted

Read more
College Sports USC 

USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12

February 5, 2019January 21, 2021 Seth Woodhouse

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL — In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann

Read more
Sports 

Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party

February 4, 2019 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – Across the country, Americans gathered in living rooms and planted themselves in front

Read more
Local Sports 

“I Only Watch for the Commercials,” Says Least Interesting Guy at Super Bowl Party

February 2, 2018June 19, 2020 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn PHILADELPHIA, PA – Everyone at Rebecca Huston’s Super Bowl party is brimming with excitement to watch the

Read more
College Sports 

Student Teetering on D- Makes Desperate Sports Banter with Professor

March 7, 2017June 19, 2020 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC — After receiving an F on his last Writing 150 paper bringing his grade to a

Read more
Local Sports 

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched

February 6, 2017June 19, 2020 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA — When Jerry Moskowitz walked into the joint, he used to

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

President Nikias Organizes Bake Sale

November 22, 2013 Jori Barash No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.