Breaking News:
  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
  • All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”
  • Big Beautiful Bill Requires Everyone on Medicaid to Just, Like, Figure it Out
  • Carol Folt Dead

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Sports

College Sports 

Student Running to Class Gripping Freshly Printed Essay Like It’s the Goddamn Olympic Torch

October 25, 2019June 19, 2020 Dan Toomey

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Dan Toomey  TROUSEDALE PARKWAY — Students gawked in anticipation and embarrassment on Friday as a heaving, perspiring freshman sprinted

Read more
College Sports USC 

USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12

February 5, 2019January 21, 2021 Seth Woodhouse

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL — In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann

Read more
Sports 

Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party

February 4, 2019 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – Across the country, Americans gathered in living rooms and planted themselves in front

Read more
Local Sports 

“I Only Watch for the Commercials,” Says Least Interesting Guy at Super Bowl Party

February 2, 2018June 19, 2020 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn PHILADELPHIA, PA – Everyone at Rebecca Huston’s Super Bowl party is brimming with excitement to watch the

Read more
College Sports 

Student Teetering on D- Makes Desperate Sports Banter with Professor

March 7, 2017June 19, 2020 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC — After receiving an F on his last Writing 150 paper bringing his grade to a

Read more
Local Sports 

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched

February 6, 2017June 19, 2020 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA — When Jerry Moskowitz walked into the joint, he used to

Read more
Sports 

Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football

November 16, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nolan Jones AMERICA — The nation’s leading sociologists confirmed Friday that, after a bitter election that dominated America’s casual

Read more
Local Sports 

2024 Olympics Great Opportunity to Show World Horrendous L.A. Traffic

April 13, 2016June 19, 2020 Rob Smat articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Rob Smat photo by Next Web LA MEMORIAL COLISEUM — The Los Angeles Olympic Committee (LA24), charged with campaigning

Read more
News in Brief Sports 

Neil deGrasse Tyson Rides Jet Ski Off Edge of Earth

February 10, 2016January 21, 2021 Staff articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kirby N. Jorgensen LEFT EDGE OF EARTH — Last month Dr. B.O.B. published his findings proving the planet is

Read more
College Sports USC 

Report: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics

February 9, 2016January 21, 2021 Rob Smat articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Rob Smat photo by Mike Doeff USC PHYSICS — It’s not every day you discredit 500 years of scientific

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
  • All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”
  • Big Beautiful Bill Requires Everyone on Medicaid to Just, Like, Figure it Out
  • Carol Folt Dead

Article Roulette

DPS Questions Architecture Student Working On Drawings, Officers Report He Was “Behaving Sketchy”

November 11, 2013 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.