BREAKING: Somewhere, A Bunch of Nerd Technicians Just Stood Up In Their Little Control Room and Cheered!
By Bill Rockas
MERRIT ISLAND, FL – Following the successful landing of Odysseus on The Moon, all the cute little space dweebs got out of their Office Max ergonomic chairs and let out a collective scream.
The moment the mission was declared successful, it became something to behold. The scene was a frenzy of exposed retainers and tucked-in shirts pulling up at the waist during double fist pumps to the sky.“This is just as exciting as when my high school crush invited me to prom,” said Chief Operating Officer Dale Flatley, taking advantage of our brief goodwill towards him to lie about his teenage years. He continued by saying, “We spent so much time ensuring that-” and then a bunch of engineering jargon, which is so cute that he thinks we know or care what he’s talking about.
Martha Squople-Top, Co-Director for Propulsion Systems and silent fixture in the back of every classroom she’s ever been required to attend, let out a cheer that had been brewing for years. She quickly lost her voice after this first use, and eyewitnesses reported seeing her soul escape her mortal coil through the power of her geek screech. Good for her!
No matter the greater implications for this historic moment, we can all be certain that seeing these little guys excited about something is so fucking heart-warming. Shortly after their celebration, extraterrestrial communications were sent in asking the technicians to “QUIET THE FUCK DOWN,” resulting in a very subdued return to complete silence and casual games of League of Legends for the rest of their foreseeable future.
