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Local Shaman Resurrects Picture on TV by Jiggling HDMI

November 27, 2017 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett LOS ANGELES, CA — While party host Harold Franks and his friends were watching the Rams game

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Local 

Whole Branch of Family Rolls Up With One Side Dish

November 24, 2017 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers After hours of toiling over the stove and resetting the oven timer, local martyr Delilah Owens was

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Local Politics 

Racist Uncle Outdone This Year By Alt-Right Cousin

November 23, 2017June 19, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks PASADENA, CA – As the Simmons family gathered on Thursday to celebrate Thanksgiving, they found that their

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College Local USC 

Mediocre Piano Music at RTCC is Greater Constant in Girl’s Life Than Father

November 22, 2017June 19, 2020 Eloise Rollins-Fife

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Eloise Rollins-Fife RONALD TUTOR CAMPUS CENTER — Whether it be Mozart attempted by an aspiring Thornton student, Chopsticks banged

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Entertainment Local 

Every Week is Sweeps Week for NBC Janitor

November 16, 2017January 21, 2021 Thomas Marshall

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Thomas Marshall LOS ANGELES — While the rest of Hollywood waits all year for that special week known as

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Entertainment Local 

Annoying Girl at Improv Show Worried She’s Not Center of Attention

November 14, 2017June 19, 2020 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Joey Rayburn TAPER HALL — What seemed like what was going to be a relaxing, jovial evening of college

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Local News in Brief 

Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows

November 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and

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Local 

Sad Pumpkin on Doorstep Wishes Someone Would Just Put It Out Of Its Misery

November 7, 2017 Sara Linden

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sara Linden CARDINAL GARDENS — This year for Halloween, the residents of apartment 10 carved a pumpkin for their

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College Local 

Nikias Slides Blank Check to Wealthy Alum and Asks Them To “Make Me an Offer I Can’t Refuse”

November 6, 2017January 23, 2021 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn PASADENA, CA – Last night, President Nikias scored another substantial donation from an alum. This time, he

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Local 

Aw Sh*t, We’re All Dancing In a Circle Again

November 3, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MONTVILLE HILTON BALLROOM — Last weekend, at Ajay Patel and Meghan Linder’s wedding, it happened again. As

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

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USC Closely Monitoring the Situation of Whether You’ve Paid Tuition Yet

USC Closely Monitoring the Situation of Whether You’ve Paid Tuition Yet

December 27, 2021 Veronica Marks No Comment

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