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Local

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Parents Unsuccessfully Feign Surprise When Son Comes Out of Closet

January 25, 2018 Matt Hanisch

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Matt Hanisch DECATUR, IL — Though Susan and Jonathan Hardy tried their best, they were unable to contain their

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Local 

Number of Forks in Take-Out Bag Indicate Woman’s Meal Intended For More Than One Person

January 24, 2018 Hannah Ceselski

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Hannah Ceselski TOPEKA, KS — Area bachelorette Bethany Burton spent her Friday night like any other, tearing into a

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Local 

Therapist Sure Has Their Work Cut Out for Them This Week

January 23, 2018 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES — Ooh, boy! This week is going to be a rough one for Dr. Riley

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Local 

Area Man Fakes Own Death, Successfully Avoids Driving Roommate To Airport

January 19, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka LOS ANGELES, CA – As investigators continued to search for the body of murdered Glendale native Derek

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Local 

Local Man “Could Probably Fix That” Himself

January 18, 2018 Sara Linden

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sara Linden CULVER CITY — Upon realizing that his washing machine was broken, Sal Smith scoffed at his wife’s

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Local 

Woman Stops Talking to Self Due to Dull Conversation

January 17, 2018 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte UNIVERSITY PARK–  After a tumultuous relationship lasting two decades, junior Leah Carpenter made the tough decision to

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Local 

Insufferable Douche Worth Being Friends With Because He’ll Be Rich Later

January 12, 2018 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MARSHALL SCHOOL OF BUSINESS — Local douche Elliot Tufts greeted his friends in the lobby of Fertitta

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College Local 

Washing Roommates’ Dishes Prepares Woman for Future as Unappreciated Housewife

January 11, 2018June 19, 2020 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte TROY HALL — When sophomore Jackie Wallace gets home each evening, a stack of her roommates’ dirty

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Local 

Uncle on Ancestry.com on Brink of Discovering Huge Cover-up in Family History

January 10, 2018 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers While filling in his family tree late Thursday night, local uncle Dan Polinski came dangerously close to

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Local 

Local Man Awfully Smug No One Has Any Allegations Against Him

January 9, 2018 Eloise Rollins-Fife

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Eloise Rollins-Fife LOS ANGELES– In the wake of recent allegations of sexual misconduct by high-profile men, local man Jason

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Albums of All Time” Finally Ranks Peppa Pig: My First Album at Number 1

Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Albums of All Time” Finally Ranks Peppa Pig: My First Album at Number 1

November 11, 2020 Jack Martino No Comment

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