Breaking News:
  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

USC

College Local USC 

Girl Who “Really Found Herself” Freshman Year Gets Tattoo To Prove It

May 11, 2022May 11, 2022 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Maya Blair, a freshman who “really found herself” this year, finally got the

Read more
College Local USC 

Student Turns McCarthy Dorm Into a BDSM Dungeon Using Command Strips

May 9, 2022August 25, 2024 Lili

By Lili LOS ANGELES, CA –– While conducting a mandatory Health and Safety Inspection in McCarthy Residential College, USC Housing

Read more
College USC 

Daily Trojan Suspended After Allegations of Brutal Hazing and Mistreatment of Staff Writers

May 2, 2022May 3, 2022 Luca Soltero

by Luca Soltero LOS ANGELES, CA — The Daily Trojan has reportedly been suspended by the university due to allegations

Read more
College Film Bro Friday Local USC 

Film Major Minors in Book

April 22, 2022April 22, 2022 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk LOS ANGELES, CA — Last Tuesday, film major Elizabeth Wright declared a minor in book. “They say

Read more
College USC 

32 Day Bender Not Really a Bender Anymore

April 18, 2022April 17, 2022 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA — After waking up on a Thursday afternoon, having slept through his 8am, 12pm,

Read more
College Film Bro Friday USC 

Avid Film Watcher Honestly Just Prefers Premiere

April 15, 2022April 15, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA — Local SCA (better known as “watch movie for grade”) student Martin Thompson states

Read more
College USC 

Point: Send Me a Push Counterpoint: Call Me Counter-Counterpoint: Enter a Passcode

March 29, 2022March 29, 2022 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster Point: Send Me a Push By Megan Nelson No one enjoys the Duo Mobile two-factor authentication—it’s time-consuming

Read more
College USC 

USC Crisis Line Hold Music So Bad It Makes Me Want To Kill Myself

March 23, 2022March 23, 2022 Alexandra Ornes

By Lexa Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA — In a heartwarming turn of events, freshman Felix Kurtzman decided not to jump

Read more
College USC 

Fraternity Suspended After Fucking Up DEI, Hosting Die Tournament Instead

March 11, 2022March 11, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA — A fraternity at USC has been suspended after misreading a new policy of

Read more
College News in Brief USC 

Breaking: Hot TA No Longer Hot

March 7, 2022March 7, 2022 Izzy Ster

LOS ANGELES, CA – Following USC lifting its indoor mask requirement beginning Monday, students across all majors of study fell

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

Article Roulette

Ranking Pixar Movies By How Sexually Attracted I Am To The Main Character

Ranking Pixar Movies By How Sexually Attracted I Am To The Main Character

December 28, 2020 Alexandra Ornes No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.