USC Doesn’t Want Gifts, Only Money For Birthday
By Julian Avrith LOS ANGELES, CA — On Oct 6, 2022, USC celebrated its 142nd birthday, and issued an accompanying
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College
Local Dirtbag So Far From Holiness Village Mormons Beg Her Not to Convert
By Lili LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA––After a duo of Mormons stopped USC sophomore Janet Pierce outside Dulce last Tuesday, she expressed
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Girlfriend Just Doesn’t Use Instagram Like That
By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA — On National Boyfriend Day, local woman Jessica Moore got into a fight with
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USC Fraternities Praised by Queer Community for Bi-Laws
By Chelsea Levy LOS ANGELES, CA — Several queer student groups have announced newfound support for fraternities after learning about
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Leonardo DiCaprio Spotted On Campus Protesting School of Gerontology
By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — One-time Oscar winner and long-time Oscar audience member Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted on
Read moreUh Oh! The Two Little Goblins Who Rub Their Gritty Mitts Together In Order To Generate Enough Power For The USC Wifi Have Died
By Staff LOS ANGELES, CA – Egads! The teeny tiny fellers who hide beneath the Doheny bookstacks have been shot,
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Ask The Experts: Best Sex Positions For A Twin XL
By Audrey Serrano According to certified sex therapist Dr. Cassidy White, Ph.D, “Even the highest of sex drives can be
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CDC Commends Rice Students For Scoring High in Purity Test, Low on Football Field
By Josh Wolk LOS ANGELES, CA — The CDC recently commended the Rice University student body for scoring high in
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USC Students Eager To Find Out If They Wasted $200 This Year
By Izzy Ster and Jackson Irvine In anticipation of the premiere of USC’s newest additions to the football team, including
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Freshman Reduced to Hometown, Major, and Dorm Within a Matter of Days
By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After moving into her freshman dorm on Monday afternoon, Lana Klein has spiraled
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