By Izzy Ster
LOS ANGELES, CA – During the 2022 Trojan Family Weekend, sophomore Kelsie Jenkins’ mother was hit on by her daughter’s past sneaky link at the Pike tailgate.
Jenkins had a brief situationship with junior Pike brother Sean Fields at the beginning of the semester. “We were basically dating,” Jenkins said. “Like, he would ask me to come over and I would, and I would ask him to use a condom and he wouldn’t. Relationships are all about compromise!” However, Fields ghosted Jenkins at the end of last year after she asked him to define their relationship. “I don’t know, I’m just really not in the dating mood, you know? It’s college! I want to focus on the important things, like die at 8 a.m. and figuring out how to bypass the security guards outside our bedrooms. Also she’s not in a house and I just matched with this Kappa on Hinge,” Fields defended.
After pregaming at West 27th, Jenkins brought her mother, Laura Jenkins to the Pike tailgate. Mama Jenkins was dancing on an elevated surface to a bass-boosted version of “Stir Fry,” when Fields asked for her Snapchat. “What can I say, Kelsie’s mom has got it going on! Apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.” He proceeded to put his arm around her neck while pumping his arm up and down haphazardly to “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight).” “Now I understand why my little Kelsie loves to fight on so much!” the older Jenkins stated after shotgunning a lukewarm PBR.
During their debrief the next morning at Nature’s Brew, Kelsie came clean and explained her past with Fields. Jenkins helped her mother draft the perfect text explaining how she’s really busy with an 18 unit course load this semester and raising a daughter. “I can’t be too mad though, I was the one who gave her my white tennis skirt and ‘I Love Trojan Boys’ t-shirt,” Jenkins lamented.