Lyon Center Expansion Completed

by Axel Hellman

Responding to student concerns about overcrowding at the Lyon Center, the University Office of Student Affairs has constructed a state-of-the-art annex to the muh-maligned gymnasium facility.

“The Lyon SCenter II will have room for up to four sweaty, grunting bros,” said Vice President Ainsley Carry, “And the best part is, it’ll be open 24 hours a day!”

“I’m happy that we were able to work with USG and USC Recreation to completely solve the problem of overcrowding once and for all.”