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Sports

Sports 

Rivalry Game Actually Just A Mid-Off

November 23, 2024December 2, 2024 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster PASADENA, CA — Following much anticipation for the 2024 USC V. UCLA rivalry game, both teams fought

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Sports 

Scientists Offer Banging Head Against Wall as Relaxing Alternative to USC Football

October 19, 2024February 4, 2025 Liam Stephenson

By Liam Stephenson LOS ANGELES –  After USC’s loss to alleged school University of Maryland, scientists have concluded that self-inflicted

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Sports USC 

USC Steps Away in 4th Quarter To Honor Yom Kippur

October 13, 2024October 15, 2024 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — This Saturday, October 12th’s highly anticipated matchup pinning USC against football juggernaut Penn

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Sports USC 

Trojans Learn An Important Lesson In Friendship, Lose 24-27

October 7, 2024October 8, 2024 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Despite a heartbreaking loss, the Trojans learned an important and relatable lesson about friendship

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Sports 

M&M’s Spokescandies Executed by Firing Squad at Super Bowl

February 14, 2023October 23, 2024 Julian Avrith

By Julian Avrith GLENDALE, AZ– This Super Bowl Sunday, the world famous colorful M&M’s spokescandies were executed by a firing

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Sports 

Dog Tom Brady Retires After 22nd Season of Puppy Bowl

February 12, 2023February 12, 2023 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk GLEN FALLS, NY — Dog Tom Brady announced his retirement after his 22nd Puppy Bowl season with

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Sports 

Duracell Marketing Emphasizes Aerodynamics of D-Batteries Ahead of Super Bowl

February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias  PHOENIX, AZ – In preparation for the Super Bowl, Duracell has shifted their marketing strategy to prioritize

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College Sports USC 

Concussed Football Men to Redefine Mathematics as Big 10 Welcome 15 and 16

July 1, 2022July 1, 2022 Jess Wild

By Jessica Wild ROSEMONT, IL —The head of USC Athletic Department and Commissioner of the Big Ten Conference met to

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Politics Sports 

Rival High School Football Team Swallowed by Sinkhole to Hell After Supreme Court Approves Summoning Circles

June 29, 2022June 29, 2022 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk ST. LOUIS, MO — After the landmark Supreme Court ruling on Kennedy v. Bremerton School District, Clayton

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Local Sports 

Clear Bag Policy Apparently Doesn’t Apply If Bag is Stuffed With Cocaine

May 27, 2022May 27, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina CHICAGO, IL — Local man Travis Porter was disappointed to find out that Wrigley Field’s clear bag

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Recent Posts

  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
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Campus Cruisers Upgraded

Campus Cruisers Upgraded

November 2, 2014 Staff No Comment

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