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Local

Local 

Man Discovers Delightful Silence After Punching Everyone Around Him In the Throat

October 17, 2016January 9, 2017 Brent Stinebaker

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Brent Stinebaker  |  photo by Matt Hanisch LOS ANGELES, CA — From downtown to Santa Monica Carter Simons skipped

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Local 

Middle School Vice Principal In Backwards Chair Understands Your Problems

October 14, 2016 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve SUNNYVALE, CA — At Paterson Middle School’s main office, Vice Principal Wes Walczak spoke to several students

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Local 

Man Sadly Eats Entire ‘Brownie Explosion’ For Three By Himself

October 13, 2016October 13, 2016 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett LOS ANGELES, CA — In Waterson’s Ice Cream Shoppe, local man Jake Hermann ordered the ‘Brownie Explosion’,

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Local 

Podcast Listener Knows More Specific Bullshit Than You

October 7, 2016 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers & Chai Karve SILVER LAKE, CA — A local friend group was enjoying a casual conversation about

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College Local 

Student Brushes Teeth as Long as Person at Neighboring Sink to Not Seem Gross

September 29, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery | photo by Liam Maddox BIRNKRANT — Friday morning, freshman Marcus Reynolds entered the bathroom and began

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Local Politics 

Police Commit to Shooting More Unarmed White People to Ensure Equality

September 21, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alan Smithee LAS VEGAS, NV — With over 136 black people killed to date by police officers in the

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Local 

Enraged Man Repeatedly Stabs iPhone 7 with Headphone Jack to Make Own Port

September 16, 2016September 16, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery NEW YORK — After just purchasing his brand new iPhone 7, Clark Samson absentmindedly tried plugging in

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Entertainment Local 

Dad Forced to Bring Loser Daughter to Springsteen Concert

September 2, 2016June 19, 2020 Thomas Marshall

“The other dads are going to think I’m so lame if I have to be there with my buzzkill kid.”

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Columns Local Strong Feelings 

How to Talk to a Woman Who Has a 100ft Restraining Order on You

August 31, 2016June 19, 2020 Quinton Buxton

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Quinton Buxton and Jack Hackett These days, many women walk around listening to music and carrying their restraining order

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College Local 

Parents Keep Making Up Excuses to Elongate Move-In Process

August 22, 2016January 23, 2021 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett NEW NORTH — Unable to say goodbye to their child, Tim, and finally become empty-nesters, local parents

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
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  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

Article Roulette

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?

March 1, 2019 Drew Thomas-Nathan No Comment

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