Student Brushes Teeth as Long as Person at Neighboring Sink to Not Seem Gross

by Ryan Zubery | photo by Liam Maddox

BIRNKRANT — Friday morning, freshman Marcus Reynolds entered the bathroom and began brushing his teeth alongside another student. Reynolds began to panic as the neighboring student continued brushing his teeth with no sign of stopping, so Reynolds kept brushing to not seem gross.

“I came in after him, so I definitely couldn’t finish brushing my teeth before him,” said Reynolds.

Reynolds continued brushing his teeth for the next six minutes, or what felt like forever, anxiously glancing over at his neighbor in the hope that his torment would come to an end.

James Johnson, the other student, said, “I’d only planned on brushing my teeth kinda half-heartedly for maybe thirty seconds, but then that other guy came in, and I didn’t want him to doubt how seriously I take dental hygiene.”

At press time, both students were still brushing their teeth, now reportedly brilliantly white against their bleeding gums.