Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Local

College Local USC 

Medieval Peasant Feels Out of Place in USC Village

November 2, 2017June 19, 2020 Jose Cardenas

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas LOS ANGELES, CA — Merek Rolfepayne the Third said he felt out of place in USC Village,

Read more
Local 

Touching Legs With Fellow Uber Pool Passenger Most Intimate Contact Woman Has Had This Year

November 1, 2017 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — When Valerie Mason climbed into her Uber Pool last Thursday night, she was

Read more
Entertainment Local 

Area Captain Jack Sparrow Needs Help With His Makeup

October 30, 2017June 19, 2020 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES– Local Captain Jack Sparrow and area Lucille Ball readied their home Saturday in anticipation of

Read more
Local 

Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween

October 27, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MENLO – Trailblazer, feminist, and feline. These are words that come to mind when describing Felicity, local

Read more
Local 

National Weather Service Officially Declares It’s “Hot As Balls”

October 25, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve LOS ANGELES, CA — After extensive study, meteorological investigation, and intense debate, the National Weather Service has

Read more
College Local 

Freshman Unable to Rush Calls Himself “Gay Little Girl” in the Mirror Every Night to Imagine What Might Have Been

October 24, 2017June 17, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – The University of Southern California decided to defer fraternity rush, effectively stopping new

Read more
Local 

Relationship Reaches Milestone as Woman Forgets Own Creative Ambitions

October 23, 2017October 23, 2017 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers After one year of exclusive dating, Chelsea Sawyer and her boyfriend Marshall Brooks took their relationship to

Read more
Local 

Little Sh*t Thinks Bar Mitzvah Actually Makes Him a Man

October 19, 2017 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan TEMPLE — Puny twelve-year-old Adam Putzberg was seen walking out of synagogue with a new spring in

Read more
Local 

Sound of Own Voice Still Delightful Reports Guy In Discussion

October 17, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve TAPER HALL — During a Friday morning discussion for Introduction to Feminist Theory, junior Russ McReynolds reported

Read more
Local 

Local Man Pushes Upper Limit of “All You Can Eat”

October 16, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ian Riley TORRANCE – Patrons of the Han Dynasty Buffet got more than they bargained for Saturday night, as

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Area Man Fakes Own Death, Successfully Avoids Driving Roommate To Airport

Area Man Fakes Own Death, Successfully Avoids Driving Roommate To Airport

January 19, 2018 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.