Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Editorial

Editorial 

Adorable or Dangerous? This Straight Man Knows More About Taylor Swift Than You Do

October 4, 2023September 26, 2023 Aidan Driscoll

by Aidan Driscoll LOS ANGELES, CA – Confounding women everywhere, local man Benjamin Scroggy has shown he in fact knows

Read more
Editorial 

Opinion: A Man Hasn’t Played Guitar For Me Yet. Am I the Problem?

September 25, 2023September 25, 2023 Lily McLaughlin

By Lily McLaughlin I love Hozier, but you know what would make Hozier even better? If one of his songs

Read more
Editorial 

Opinion: This Gold Calf Is Fucking Awesome, Should Be Our New God

September 7, 2023September 8, 2023 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas PORTLAND, OR – Veal fever has hit America as more and more citizens are correctly adopting a

Read more
Editorial 

Opinion: They Wouldn’t Be Small Businesses If They Worked Harder

February 27, 2023February 25, 2023 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk While elitist Republicans and Democrats wax lyrical about serving local businesses, I reckon it’s time that we

Read more
Editorial 

Opinion: Jesus is One of Those “Birth Week Girls”

December 23, 2022December 22, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler We all know that one person that takes their birthday and celebrates the whole week, and I

Read more
Editorial 

Kinder Egg to Release Adult Toy Collection: “Try Choking on This!”

October 4, 2022October 3, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias CONCORD, CA – After a long absence, the Kinder Surprise is finally making its big return to

Read more
Editorial 

Sack Advice

September 27, 2022September 27, 2022 Staff
Read more
Editorial 

Top 10 GILFS Who Died Before I Got The Chance

September 13, 2022October 20, 2022 Staff

By Staff Queen Elizabeth of England died at age 96 last week, and it’s times like these when I wonder

Read more
College Editorial 

Opinion: Why Did I Come To This Euphoria Party If You Won’t Let Me Take Fentanyl?

April 5, 2022April 5, 2022 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Freshman Taylor Howard was disappointed to discover that despite the epic Euphoria-themed party,

Read more
Editorial News in Brief USC 

Opinion: Fine! I Will Have Sex in the Doheny Book Stacks Instead!

December 29, 2021October 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff “Ever since the no guest thing happened it’s been really hard to find places where you can, you

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Ed Markey Puts Out Ad Disrespecting Kennedy Legacy by Successfully Riding in a Convertible

August 31, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.