Breaking News:
  • Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
  • Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half
  • Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise
  • Construction for USC Infinite Youth Fountain to be Finished Whatever Year You Graduate
  • SCA Senior Secures Unpaid Internship Networking at WGA Picket Line

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Jori Barash

College Local 

Freshman Practices Humblebrag in Mirror Before Meeting Up with High School Friends

March 10, 2017June 17, 2020 Jori Barash 2613 Views
by Jori Barash MINNEAPOLIS, MN – After nearly one hour locked in the bathroom of his home in Minneapolis, USC Read more
College USC 

Freshman Orientation Distributes Nametags with Financial Aid, SAT Scores Listed

July 11, 2015January 23, 2021 Jori Barash 2027 Views articles

by Jori Barash More than ever, orientation is such an impactful moment in the beginnings of students’ university experience. Freshmen

Read more
College USC 

After Yesterday’s Confrontation, Nikias Replaces Hospitality Workers With USG Members

January 29, 2015January 21, 2021 Jori Barash 1862 Views articles

by Jori Barash This week brought news of the ongoing conflict between the university and campus workers, as both sides

Read more
College 

Not Enough Units Left, Sophomore Drops Social Activism

January 19, 2015June 19, 2020 Jori Barash 2252 Views articles

by Jori Barash and Kim Rogers Last Monday, USC sophomore Dana Steuben finally decided to register for a course in

Read more
Attention Vortex College Columns USC 

A Basic Betch’s Guide to Winter Fashion at SC

December 1, 2014January 23, 2021 Jori Barash 2376 Views click bait

by Jori Barash and Kim Rogers Rule #1 Show Everyone That Winter Is a Tuesday and Friday Kind of Thing

Read more
College USC 

Nikias Hosts Thanksgiving Dinner, Males Charged $5 for Entry

November 28, 2014June 19, 2020 Jori Barash 2282 Views articles

by Jori Barash SAN MARINO, CA – In his annual tradition, USC president C.L. Max Nikias hosted a large Thanksgiving

Read more
College USC 

USC Transportation Announces New Route From Fig to LAPD Rampart Station

November 26, 2014June 19, 2020 Jori Barash 2305 Views articles

by Jori Barash DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES — After months of students complaining to USC’s Department of Transportation, today several buses

Read more
College 

After Fun Night Out, Colorado State Student Updates LinkedIn

November 8, 2014January 23, 2021 Jori Barash 2169 Views articles

by Jori Barash FORT COLLINS, CO– After adjusting to college a bit, Colorado State University freshman Stefan Sortland decided this morning to

Read more
Attention Vortex College Columns 

The Idiot’s Guide to Avoiding Colorfully-Vested Activists

October 29, 2014January 21, 2021 Jori Barash 2098 Views click bait

by Jori Barash and Grace Carballo In a fit of uncharacteristic generosity, the Sack of Troy has developed an infallible

Read more
Sports 

Kim Jong Un Recruited as University of Arizona’s Kicker

October 12, 2014December 13, 2015 Jori Barash 1852 Views

by Jori Barash After weeks staying out of the public eye, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un’s whereabouts are finally

Read more
  • ← Previous

Recent Posts

  • Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
  • Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half
  • Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise
  • Construction for USC Infinite Youth Fountain to be Finished Whatever Year You Graduate
  • SCA Senior Secures Unpaid Internship Networking at WGA Picket Line

Article Roulette

New Amazon Alexa Feature Orders Tums Every Time A Juicy Toot is Audibly Detected

New Amazon Alexa Feature Orders Tums Every Time A Juicy Toot is Audibly Detected

May 11, 2021 Emily Torp No Comment

Archives

© 2023 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.