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USG Vows to Fix Greek Underrepresentation

February 25, 2014June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman articles

by Axel Hellman On Thursday night, Undergraduate Student Government pooh-bahs celebrated the election of their next president and vice president.

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College USC 

USC Secrets Now Most Accurate University News Source

February 24, 2014January 21, 2021 Staff articles

by Julia Zucker A recent survey by the Annenberg School of Communication revealed that USC Secrets is now considered by students to

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College USC 

USC Announces Plan to Build Moat and Drawbridge Around Campus

February 23, 2014January 21, 2021 Staff articles

by Andy Gause Responding to cries from parents following recent off-campus shootings, USC officials have announced a plan to dig

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College USC 

Tinder App Originally Marketed Towards USC Squirrels, Says Its Creators

February 22, 2014January 21, 2021 Staff articles

by Zoe Haddad The creators of the dating app Tinder revealed today that the app was originally intended for squirrels

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College USC 

USC Housing: Students Killed, Burned in Dorm Fires to Be Fined $200 per Incident

February 21, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff articles

by Caroline Langella NEW NORTH- On Wednesday it was reported that an “actual fire alarm” went off in the beloved

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College USC 

Lyon Center Shutdown After Inevitable Bro-verload

February 20, 2014January 21, 2021 Staff articles

by Alyssa Kennedy LYON CENTER–-At 9:55 PM last night, lights flashed and alarms sounded as Lyon Center patrons heard a

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College USC 

USC’s Cold War-Era Wifi Router Has Trouble with Youtube Upload

February 19, 2014January 21, 2021 Rob Smat articles

by Rob Smat In a troubling technical glitch, USC’s Information Technology Services reported that the university’s solitary WiFi router, constructed

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College USC 

Lorenzo Lion Attacks Residents for Not Properly ‘Getting the Party Started’

February 18, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff articles

by Andy Gause The lion seen intimidating students in the greater Los Angeles area According to the LAPD, the Lorenzo

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College USC 

Lowell Institute For Renewable Energy Develops Cannabis-Powered Vehicle

February 17, 2014January 21, 2021 Jori Barash articles

by Jori Barash Suspicions of something strange on campus have been on the rise since August, when an increasing number

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College USC 

Buff Guy at Lyon Center Marries His Own Reflection

February 16, 2014January 21, 2021 Staff articles

by Andy Gause Jared Eggerton, a junior studying gym-ometry, was working his upper body when he locked eyes with his

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows
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  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

Article Roulette

Brockhampton Disbands, Will Now Be Grooming Kids Separately

Brockhampton Disbands, Will Now Be Grooming Kids Separately

January 14, 2022 Staff No Comment

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