Breaking News:
  • Flailing Alumni Account Forced to Post Derrick
  • Elon Musk Becomes First Kajillionaire
  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

College

College Entertainment 

Roommate More Than Happy to Screw Up Sound for Your Movie

September 6, 2016June 19, 2020 Jack Hackett

“I’ve never done sound before, but I’ll take a crack at recording unsalvageable audio,” responded Samson.

Read more
College News in Brief 

Rejected Rushee Celebrates Blackout Monday Alone in Room with Lights Off

August 30, 2016June 17, 2020 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers PARDEE— After a competitive rush process and a stinging rejection, Toby Webb came out on top and

Read more
College 

Student Excited to Relearn All the Spanish Forgotten Over Summer

August 26, 2016June 19, 2020 Jack Hackett

“I purposefully didn’t speak a lick of Spanish over summer ‘cuz the best thing about Spanish 3 is relearning all of Spanish 2!”

Read more
College 

Student Haunted by Memory of Sarcastic Personal Introduction Taken Literally

August 25, 2016June 19, 2020 Mimi Evans

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Mimi Evans USC — At exactly 11:43 AM on Monday, August 22nd, freshman Heather Lian made the most embarrassing

Read more
College 

Student Opts for Cost-Effective Book-Buying Alternative: Burning Money

August 23, 2016June 19, 2020 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers USC BOOKSTORE — With the cost of textbooks on the rise, Hannah Jackson found a fiscally responsible

Read more
College Local 

Parents Keep Making Up Excuses to Elongate Move-In Process

August 22, 2016January 23, 2021 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett NEW NORTH — Unable to say goodbye to their child, Tim, and finally become empty-nesters, local parents

Read more
College Local 

Student Stuck Home Over Summer Claws at Window Like Trapped House Cat

August 3, 2016June 19, 2020 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett and Chai Karve CUPERTINO, CA — Thinking it was a good idea, rising junior Maddox Hamilton decided

Read more
College USC 

Roski Student Gets Job

May 5, 2016June 19, 2020 Chad Lonski articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chad Lonski USC — Sam Miller, a Roski School of Art and Design student studying Free Spirit Expressionism and

Read more
College 

“I Literally Have No Time During Finals,” Reports Comm Student From Disneyland

May 4, 2016June 19, 2020 Katarina Brandt articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Katarina Brandt SPACE MOUNTAIN—On Tuesday afternoon, communications major Jessica Gilmore reported from the line of Space Mountain that she

Read more
College World 

God Doubles Height of Catholic Center Steeple to Match Height of University Village

April 29, 2016June 19, 2020 Rob Smat articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Rob Smat USC — It’s official, Yahweh has declared a major in architecture. When residents of the north end

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • Flailing Alumni Account Forced to Post Derrick
  • Elon Musk Becomes First Kajillionaire
  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows

Article Roulette

Coronavirus Tests Positive for Ed Sheeran

Coronavirus Tests Positive for Ed Sheeran

October 26, 2021 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.