Theatre Major Pretending to Have Midterms to Fit In

By Margaret Danenhauer 

LOS ANGELES – Theatre majors across USC have reportedly been telling fellow students that they have midterms despite not having midterms because everyone else does and they need validation.

“Sooo swamped as well,” Theatre major Evan Twinkley allegedly told his STEM major roommate. “I’m literally going to skip class tomorrow to study.” However, a bombshell report reveals that not only did Evan have no assignments due until the end of the semester, he had no assignments due all semester. Except for that one puppet show response paragraph, but we’re not counting that. Furthermore, he was actually skipping class to go to an RHA event offering free Wingstop. 

“It’s not our fault we don’t have midterms!” Senior Ally Cantack told her friends. “Have you considered how busy tech weeks are? Also, we’re unemployable! Please! Love me!”