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World

World 

Rejected Met Gala Themes

May 4, 2022May 5, 2022 Staff

Our journalists at The Sack of Troy obtained leaked documents from the Met Gala, and based on the principle of

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Local News in Brief USC World 

San Andreas Speaks Out: It Wasn’t Their Fault

February 1, 2022February 1, 2022 Lola Gilmore

By Lola Gilmore LOS ANGELES, CA — In the wake of a minor earthquake that occurred 17 miles southeast of

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World 

San Diego Zoo Saves Antelope From the Freedom of 3.552 Million Square Miles of African Sahara Desert

January 17, 2022January 17, 2022 Jess Wild

By Jessica Wild SAN DIEGO, CA — This holiday season, a Sahara Desert antelope was given the gift of new

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Entertainment World 

Coronavirus Tests Positive for Ed Sheeran

October 26, 2021October 25, 2021 Staff

By Staff  SUFFOLK, ENGLAND — Expressing regret that it hadn’t taken precautionary action against the singer-songwriter, the Coronavirus announced today

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News in Pictures World 

CDC Suggests Deterring Delta, Beta Variants by Asking Them to Name Five Brothers

July 24, 2021July 24, 2021 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina “Frat houses…” by techbint is licensed under CC BY 2.0

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Local News in Pictures World 

Area Man Definitely Not Compensating for Anything

July 20, 2021July 20, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes “Blue Origin New Shepard NS-10 Ignition” by NASA Flight Opportunities is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0 Modified from Creative Commons

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World 

World Crisis Makes Ex Boyfriend Not Seem So Bad Right Now

April 29, 2021April 29, 2021 Angie Stroud

By Angie Stroud LOS ANGELES, CA – There’s something in the air for local woman Paige Wilson. No not love,

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World 

Queen Finally Defeats Zombie Prince Phillip

April 9, 2021April 9, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LONDON, UK – After years of battle, on Friday morning the Queen finally defeated the Zombie form

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World 

Whale Found Dead off the Coast of Italy Actually Just a Large Seafood Calzone

February 24, 2021February 24, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp NAPLES, ITALY — After initially reporting they found an enormous whale carcass off the southern coast, the

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World 

Study Finds Small Doses of 5G Promote Super Powers Like Telekinesis and Jumping Really High and Stuff

February 3, 2021February 1, 2021 Hannah Ryan

By Hannah Ryan LOS ANGELES, CA–– A recent report by the World Health Organization on the effects of 5G on

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Local Idiot Wants Pink Lightsaber when OBVIOUSLY That Color Isn’t Even Canon

Local Idiot Wants Pink Lightsaber when OBVIOUSLY That Color Isn’t Even Canon

February 26, 2021 Hannah Ryan No Comment

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