by Andy Gause Photo by Lauren Williams Last semester, Johnny ‘Foosball’ Burgess, a freshman hippie punching major, stumbled upon a

by Jordan Klein To say that USC’s football season was disappointing is more than an understatement. After a 21-7 loss

by Axel Hellman Next Saturday, slaves that USC captured during the Trojan War will be made to fight to the

by Matt Kalina Following the defeat of the USC football team by the Washington State Institute for Prospective Nuns (the