- Hipster Club Accepts New 2014 Members Before They Are Cool
- Tommy Trojan Accused In Doping Scandal, Doctors Call Abs of Bronze “Unnatural”
Breaking News:
- Freshmen Report: Every Friend Group Already Formed
- U.S. Government Releases New Military Propaganda Made With Canva
- “I’m Having A Hot Girl Summer,” Says Woman Who Has Spent Every Moment Of It Watching Love Island With Zero Human Contact
- Breaking: 9/11 For NPR Listeners
- Alec Baldwin Attends Trump Rally
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
