Dog Tom Brady Retires After 22nd Season of Puppy Bowl
By Joshua Wolk GLEN FALLS, NY — Dog Tom Brady announced his retirement after his 22nd Puppy Bowl season with
Read more
Sports
Duracell Marketing Emphasizes Aerodynamics of D-Batteries Ahead of Super Bowl
By Levi Elias PHOENIX, AZ – In preparation for the Super Bowl, Duracell has shifted their marketing strategy to prioritize
Read more
Concussed Football Men to Redefine Mathematics as Big 10 Welcome 15 and 16
By Jessica Wild ROSEMONT, IL —The head of USC Athletic Department and Commissioner of the Big Ten Conference met to
Read more
Rival High School Football Team Swallowed by Sinkhole to Hell After Supreme Court Approves Summoning Circles
By Joshua Wolk ST. LOUIS, MO — After the landmark Supreme Court ruling on Kennedy v. Bremerton School District, Clayton
Read more
Clear Bag Policy Apparently Doesn’t Apply If Bag is Stuffed With Cocaine
By Sarah Cortina CHICAGO, IL — Local man Travis Porter was disappointed to find out that Wrigley Field’s clear bag
Read more
Skateboarder Eats Shit, Contracts E Coli
By Jackson Irvine HOLLYWOOD, CA — Yesterday evening medical professionals were called to the home of 22-year-old, self-described home boy
Read more
Packers to Scout Kyle Rittenhouse for His “Excellent Defense”
By Staff “Green Bay Packers huddle” by Mike Morbeck is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
Read more
Firing Of Helton Fails, USC Resorts To Bioterrorism To Shift Odds
By Sarah Cortina and Alexandra Ornes The “weekender” has become the “10 days, given symptoms do not change or new
Read more
Clay Fired: Check Out This Roski Student’s Pottery
By Josh Wolk Photo by Elisabetta Lombardo on Unsplash
Read more