Breaking News:
  • Capitalism Really Fun in Stardew Valley
  • Wholesome: Professor Brings Cookies to Final; Fails All Students
  • Storytime: I Failed My Math Test for Being Christian
  • No Change in EVK Menu
  • Twunkmas, Butchcember, and Other Gay Terms Us Heteros Are Stealing this Holiday Season

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Local

Local 

“I’m Falling In Love With Life,” Says Woman Who Has Never Had To Work A Minimum Wage Job 

February 7, 2024January 31, 2024 Megan Dang

By Megan Dang LOS ANGELES, CA — Local nepo baby and Q-list Internet celebrity Sally Perkins defied all odds and

Read more
Local 

Future Salary Directly Correlated With How Often You Post on LinkedIn

November 27, 2023November 26, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias SUNNYVALE, CA — A study conducted by USC Marshall’s Department of Research and Employment Analytics determined that

Read more
Local 

Top Ten Street Signs That’ll Make You Say “Nah, I’m Good”

October 25, 2023October 18, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias COLUMBUS, OH — When you turned 17, you took two left turns (one of them with a

Read more
Local 

Pumpkin Spice, Crunchy Leaves, and 8 Other Autumn Staples To Help You Forget About Your Terminal Illness (Even If Just For A Moment)

October 24, 2023October 23, 2023 Dylan Keeffe

By Dylan Keeffe DIGNITY HEALTH HOSPITAL, CA – As the seasons change like the IVs placed into your arms by

Read more
Local 

Self-Proclaimed “Cottagecore Girly” Just a White Woman With Bangs and a Maxi Skirt

October 3, 2023October 3, 2023 Malaya Galindez

By Malaya Galindez NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK – After a slew of TikTok hate comments filled her page, cottagecore

Read more
Local 

Woman Posts Picture of Back of Man’s Head for National Situationship Day

October 3, 2023August 25, 2024 Lili

By Lili LOS ANGELES, CA — Local woman Julie Walters boldly posted an Instagram story of the back of a

Read more
Local 

Eurocentric Asshole Only Thinks About The Ming Dynasty Every Two Weeks

September 29, 2023September 26, 2023 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker BOSTON, MA – Although he reflects on the Roman Empire’s contributions to society weekly, local Boston College

Read more
Local 

“I Would Never Spank My Child,” Says White Mom Who Walks Her Son On A Dog Leash

September 27, 2023September 26, 2023 Megan Dang

By Megan Dang LOS ANGELES, CA — Local white helicopter mom Katherine Dodson spoke out, unprompted, against the inhumane practice

Read more
Local 

All of Gen Z Does Something You Don’t Like

September 24, 2023May 2, 2024 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas EVERYWHERE, SEEMINGLY – The country is in disarray! The entirety of Gen Z just DID something you,

Read more
Local 

Therapist Has Seen Way Worse Imposter Syndrome Than Yours

September 13, 2023September 12, 2023 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk LOS ANGELES – Last Friday, your therapist had her license revoked after breaking client confidentiality to declare

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • Capitalism Really Fun in Stardew Valley
  • Wholesome: Professor Brings Cookies to Final; Fails All Students
  • Storytime: I Failed My Math Test for Being Christian
  • No Change in EVK Menu
  • Twunkmas, Butchcember, and Other Gay Terms Us Heteros Are Stealing this Holiday Season

Article Roulette

Freshman Gets Name, Major, and Hometown Tattooed on Forehead

Freshman Gets Name, Major, and Hometown Tattooed on Forehead

September 12, 2019 Jonathan Krone No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.