Breaking News:
  • Depressed Groundhog: “Who Cares?”
  • Detachable Shower Head Wasted on Apartment Owned by Man
  • Opinion: Tandem Lyft Bicycle Doesn’t Look So Bad Now, Does It?
  • Study Finds That Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations For Pizza Deliveries
  • “The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Local

Local 

Woman Trying To “Date Herself” Isn’t Her Own Type

September 5, 2022September 6, 2022 Izzy Ster 336 Views

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After nine months of intensive self-discovery following a horrific breakup, local woman Nicole

Read more
College Local USC 

Freshman Reduced to Hometown, Major, and Dorm Within a Matter of Days

August 19, 2022August 19, 2022 Izzy Ster 608 Views

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After moving into her freshman dorm on Monday afternoon, Lana Klein has spiraled

Read more
College Local USC 

USC Not Mad, Just Disappointed in Frats

August 13, 2022August 13, 2022 Izzy Ster 664 Views

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA — Following six fraternities announcing their disaffiliation, USC lectured brothers in a strongly-worded Instagram

Read more
Local 

Sad: Neither of This Man’s Secret Families Wished Him Happy Father’s Day

June 22, 2022June 22, 2022 Preston Long 285 Views

By Preston Long ECHO PARK, CA — Saying that the situation had shaken his trust in his families, local man

Read more
Local Sports 

Clear Bag Policy Apparently Doesn’t Apply If Bag is Stuffed With Cocaine

May 27, 2022May 27, 2022 Sarah Cortina 688 Views

By Sarah Cortina CHICAGO, IL — Local man Travis Porter was disappointed to find out that Wrigley Field’s clear bag

Read more
College Local 

Student Finally Watches Hentai Without Subtitles After Four Years of Japanese

May 16, 2022May 16, 2022 Lili Adkins 577 Views

By Lili Adkins LOS ANGELES, CA –– USC senior Simon Griffin reports that after eight laborious semesters of intensive Japanese

Read more
College Local USC 

Girl Who “Really Found Herself” Freshman Year Gets Tattoo To Prove It

May 11, 2022May 11, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 881 Views

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Maya Blair, a freshman who “really found herself” this year, finally got the

Read more
College Local USC 

Student Turns McCarthy Dorm Into a BDSM Dungeon Using Command Strips

May 9, 2022May 9, 2022 Lili Adkins 1183 Views

By Lili Adkins LOS ANGELES, CA –– While conducting a mandatory Health and Safety Inspection in McCarthy Residential College, USC

Read more
Dear Mom Local 

Dear Mom: Let’s Not Watch Lady Bird Together

May 8, 2022May 8, 2022 Izzy Ster 644 Views

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA — Things went south this Mother’s Day for local girl Emily Moore when she,

Read more
College Film Bro Friday Local USC 

Film Major Minors in Book

April 22, 2022April 22, 2022 Joshua Wolk 477 Views

By Joshua Wolk LOS ANGELES, CA — Last Tuesday, film major Elizabeth Wright declared a minor in book. “They say

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Recent Posts

  • Depressed Groundhog: “Who Cares?”
  • Detachable Shower Head Wasted on Apartment Owned by Man
  • Opinion: Tandem Lyft Bicycle Doesn’t Look So Bad Now, Does It?
  • Study Finds That Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations For Pizza Deliveries
  • “The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo

Article Roulette

Aroused Senior Scours Internet for Hot Sexy Job Opportunities

Aroused Senior Scours Internet for Hot Sexy Job Opportunities

August 25, 2017 Chai Karve No Comment

Archives

© 2023 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.