Local – Page 18 – The Sack of Troy

Forgotten Edible Left in Backpack Now Sprouting Roots

July 16, 2020July 23, 2020 Mia Young

By Mia Young BUFFALO, NY — Earlier this week high school junior Sam Rizzo reported that a three-month-old marijuana brownie

Local

Update: Your Hometown Same Hell Hole It Was Five Minutes Ago

June 30, 2020June 30, 2020 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman YOUR HOMETOWN, USA — Although it feels like a century since you last googled “Why am I

Local

Woman Working from Home Grabbing Own Ass for Sense of Normalcy

June 29, 2020June 29, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann

By Melanie Hoffmann LOS ANGELES, CA — Despite recent openings of restaurants and retail locations, many offices remain shut due

Local Politics

Violent Terrorist Puts Pickles on Cop’s Burger Even Though They Specifically Said No Pickles

June 23, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone

By Jonathan Krone LUBBOCK, TEXAS – At a local McDonald’s, a violent and dangerous terrorist made an attempt on an

Entertainment Local

Study Reveals 95% of Movies on Netflix Are Too “Out There” for Mom

May 26, 2020July 23, 2020 Jack Walz

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jack Walz LOS ANGELES, CA — In an effort to better understand middle-aged audiences, a team of researchers from

Local Sports

Female Jogger Breaks Personal Record for Most Miles with Van Following

May 22, 2020January 23, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Melanie Hoffmann TUCSON, AZ — On Thursday, local Tucson resident Winona Clark passed a personal milestone in her fitness

College Local

College Friends Finally Get to Reunite After Their Weird Friend Makes Them on the Sims

May 21, 2020July 23, 2020 Bryn Doyle

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] By Bryn Doyle CARLSBAD, CA – After two months of quarantine and the school year over, University of Southern California

Local Sports

Local Man Reaches Bottom of Pornhub

May 13, 2020May 13, 2020 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone HOBOKEN, NJ — During a long and unsuccessful search for the perfect porno to stroke his sausage

Local

Silver Lining: This Old Man with Alzheimer’s Just Forgot How to be Racist

May 12, 2020July 23, 2020 Pat Duffy

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Patrick Duffy WORCHESTER, MA — They say that when God closes a door, He opens a window, and while

Local

Local Man Swears Mother’s Day Card was Lost in Mail on Way to her Room

May 11, 2020June 17, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Melanie Hoffmann FRESNO, CA — Despite the tragedy of the COVID-19 pandemic, local mother Martha Ginderson was happy that