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Local 

Group Email Sent Specifically to Remind One Person

April 26, 2021April 26, 2021 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA–A group email sent out to twelve different people last Monday was actually only sent

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Local 

Area Man No Longer Area Man After Fleeing Country To Evade Tax Fraud

April 14, 2021April 14, 2021 Mia Young

By Mia Young OMAHA, NE – Area man Robert Peterson has rescinded his title of “area man” after being forced

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Local 

Local 6 Year Old Fed Up with Sinful Hubris of Man

April 12, 2021April 9, 2021 Darrien Snyder

By Darrien Snyder LOS ANGELES, CA – Li’l Timmy, a local 6-year-old boy, is fed up with mankind’s superciliousness. Timmy

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Local 

Wow! This Vintage Reseller Can Go Fuck Themself!

April 6, 2021April 5, 2021 Mia Young

By Mia Young NEW YORK, NY – Reports indicate that area college student and so-called vintage reseller Julia Schiff can

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Local 

Local Girl Isn’t Young Or Old Enough To Justify Saying Oopsie Daisy

March 24, 2021March 24, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes KNOXVILLE, TN – Local 17-year-old girl Samantha Lange shocked friends on Friday with the use of the

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College Local 

Student Celebrates First Anniversary of Her Quarantine Bangs

March 19, 2021October 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – As many Americans mourn one merciless year of isolation, Amanda Gilbert has managed to

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Local News in Brief 

Apology: We Wrote a Report on Biden’s Fiscal Policy, But Devious Leprechauns Dyed it Green

March 17, 2021June 9, 2021 Preston Long

By Preston Long LOS ANGELES, CA —At its founding, the Sack of Troy dedicated itself to one thing: holding the

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Local 

Plane Forced To Land After Fight Breaks Out Over Which Jonas Brother is the Hottest

March 10, 2021March 9, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp FORT WORTH, TX – An American Airlines flight to Washington, DC was diverted to New Jersey after

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Local 

Local Idiot Wants Pink Lightsaber when OBVIOUSLY That Color Isn’t Even Canon

February 26, 2021February 21, 2021 Hannah Ryan

By Hannah Ryan CULVER CITY, CA – A local Star Wars LARPing group has been torn apart by recent allegations

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Local 

Elderly Dog Proves He’s Still Got It By Humping Every Small Dog He Meets

February 22, 2021February 22, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp LOS ANGELES, CA — Resident barker Rocky, a 14-year-old beagle, continuously proves to his dad “he’s still

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

BREAKING: Chocolate Explosion Cake Kills 10

BREAKING: Chocolate Explosion Cake Kills 10

April 16, 2018 Jack Hackett No Comment

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