DPS Implements “Walk Your Wheelchair” Policy on Trousdale
by Morgan Greenwald In an effort to alleviate congestion during the busier hours on campus, the Department of Public Safety
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USC Football Unveils $1.1 Billion Outdoor Heating System
by Tyler Pullen After the football team’s disappointing performance in Boston’s cold weather last Saturday, USC’s athletic department finally decided
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USC to Begin Using Tinder for Admissions
by Noah Suárez-Sikes LOS ANGELES– Following a press release promising “exciting new developments” in regards to the admissions process, the
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Lorenzo Shuts Off Fountains, Drought Ends
by Grace Carballo LOS ANGELES, CALIF. – After 2 years or something, California’s “megadrought” is finally over. Until recently, microbioclimatologists
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USC Libraries Announces Slightly Upgraded Leavey 6.0
by Susan Lin After years of speculation, midnight meetings, and conspiracy theories, USC Libraries finally unveiled the fruit of its
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New DPS Uniforms Unveiled
by Staff USC’s Department of Public Safety, often known as DPS, revealed today the first new uniforms that will be
Read moreUSC Announces Major “Gigacampus” Deal
by Matt Prusak Nevada and the University of Southern California made it official Friday morning: the school’s campus and its
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Viterbi Water Fountains Now Dispensing Red Bull and Cocaine
by Joseph Grazier In response to the “disappointingly large amount” of sleep engineering majors have received at USC over the
Read moreUSC Attempts to Secure Its Own Ebola Patient
by Rob Smat USC, LOS ANGELES — This past month, two patients with Ebola were rushed to the Emory University
Read moreUSC Alumni Admit the Trojan Family Doesn’t Exist
by Jack Koppa Shocking USC Administration and students alike, USC alumni today collectively admitted the Trojan Family is a complete
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