Faculty Member Moves to Introduce “Kiff” to Dictionary
by Matt Kalina Following the defeat of the USC football team by the Washington State Institute for Prospective Nuns (the
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In Emotional Press Conference, Pat Haden Admits Lane Kiffin was an Elaborate Hoax
by Ryan Lee At a small press conference on Sunday afternoon, USC Athletic Director Pat Haden admitted that he and
Read moreKofi Annan Declines Position as New/North R.A. On Grounds of Being “Too Dangerous”
by Asher Levy Kofi Annan, the former UN Arab League joint special envoy to Syria and author of the Six
Read moreEVK Done Reminded Me of My Sweet Ol’ Mammy’s Cookin’ the Other Day
by Staff Howdy, y’all! Recently I been a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’ about how good the vittles been at EVK. Sure is
Read moreSecurity Measures Upgraded to Include Blood Analysis
by Morgan Greenwald As a result of freshmen’s complaints about the measures taken to increase security, President C. L. Max
Read moreNew/North Janitors Go On Strike
by Jordan Klein The janitors of USC’s New Residential College and North Residential College have refused to continue working because
Read moreViterbi Adds New Minor in “Love”
by Jordan Klein USC has always been known for its breadth of academic departments. Its undergraduate students have the ability
Read moreMiranda Cosgrove Spotted on Campus
by Axel Hellman In a startling turn of events, actress and musician Miranda Cosgrove was seen yesterday at the Ronald
Read moreBusinesses Seek to Capitalize on Greek Parties
by Matt Kalina Above: Students sporting some of TRAMP’s fashionable clothing It’s registered season again, and you know what that
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