Miranda Cosgrove Spotted on Campus

by Axel Hellman

In a startling turn of events, actress and musician Miranda Cosgrove was seen yesterday at the Ronald Tutor Campus Center at around 2 pm.  Students are reported to have stared in wonderment.

Fans report that she got in line at Panda Express and ordered orange chicken with white rice. Cosgrove is said to have ordered a Sprite, but conflicting reports suggest that she in fact ordered a Mountain Dew.

Trevor Zimmerman, a sophomore in the Marshall School majoring in secretarial studies, jumped up and down in girlish glee at the sight of Cosgrove while eating lunch.  He said, “Oh-em-gee its iCarly!!!”

Zimmerman took the opportunity to take a picture of the back of Cosgrove’s head with his iPhone, which he then put on his facebook.  Nearly 100 of his friends liked the photograph, and commented to express their jealousy and desire to see the back of Cosgrove’s head as well.

One student who feasted her eyes on the young celebrity, Sasha Rettner, a freshman majoring in massage therapy,  said that she felt a close connection to Cosgrove.  Rettner said, “We have, like, so much in common!  She had, like literally, the exact same shoes as me, except a slightly different color and like a different brand.”

While Cosgrove has not issued a statement about her appearance yesterday, it is widely speculated that she was on campus because she is a student at USC.