USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL — In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann
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USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern
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Student Graduates Semester Early to Get Jump Start on Unemployment
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – Senior Roger Morris has just finished college an entire semester early, meaning he’s about to
Read moreSurplus of Spring Admits to be Housed in Forested Wolf Dens
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan GRIFFITH PARK, CA — Due to a lack of available freshman housing space, some students admitted for
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Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – This morning, after college junior Matthew Fuller had already done his take-home final,
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Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn THE ROW – With the beer-stained folding tables tucked away haphazardly and the rent deposit hopefully paid,
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Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire The spick n’ span new threads in New North Room 1412 have absolutely no idea what’s coming
Read moreUpperclassmen Reminiscing About Café 84 Like it was Fucking Woodstock
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery USC — On Thursday, freshman Marissa Kwon made a grievous mistake when she mentioned the Café 84
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Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have
Read moreSam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie
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