Student’s USC Application Just Link to Parent’s IMDB

by Sydney Sanchez

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA– In a shocking breaking news story, the University of Southern California admitted that students with celebrity parents only have to paste their parent’s IMDB page in lieu of a normal application.

For years, there has been speculation on how so many celebrity children are able to attend the university. Could it be donations? Clout? General closeness to Hollywood’s film industry?

The answer is much simpler: A link leading to a website that proves the student’s parent partook in a series of film and television roles throughout the last few decades.

An actress who has chosen to remain anonymous recalls the application. “It was simple for my daughter. A google search, copy & paste, and she was granted instant admission.”

Critics of the University argue that all students should undergo the same application. Alejandro Gabrielian, a sophomore studying mechanical engineering, stated, “They should have to do what the rest of us did! Multiple essays, letters of recommendation, and taking up a part time job at Ralphs to pay for each $60 application.”

The University of Southern California refused to comment on the policy, instead announcing a new plan to allow football recruits to bypass their high school diplomas entirely.