USC Housing Announces Priority Will Be Given to Students Who Can Solve These Three Riddles
By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – After a long wait, USC Housing finally announced priority will be given to
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College
Finals Week Coincidentally Also My Final Week
By Mia Young Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels
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Trojans Can Now Register for Post-Sex Cuddle After WebReg Fucks Them
By Alexandra Miller LOS ANGELES, CA — The popular class registration site launched a new feature on Monday allowing students
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Girlboss Alert! Carol Folt
By Staff We are SoGratefulForThis CommendableInstitution. Please don’t shut us down Carol, this is all we have!
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Girl Upset at Not Getting Any @usc.missedconnections Posts Despite Never Going to Class
By Heidi Atlas PITTSBURGH, PA – University of Southern California freshman Tiffany Wilson is furious that nobody has anonymously fallen
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Student Celebrates First Anniversary of Her Quarantine Bangs
By Staff LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – As many Americans mourn one merciless year of isolation, Amanda Gilbert has managed to
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USC Freshmen Receive Welcome Box Containing Four White Claws, a Fire Alarm Set For 4am, and a Lifetime of Student Debt
By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – USC freshman Dylan Gomez was elated to receive a USC Welcome Box, which
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Conservatives Condemn USC for Inciting Violence With Motto “Fight On!”
By Emily Torp WASHINGTON – As part of the montage presented during the second impeachment trial, former President Donald Trump’s
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Local Girl Catches Covid So She Can Blame Quarantine For Being Lonely On Valentine’s Day
By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – USC student Sarah Miller was elated to find out she had contracted COVID-19
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