Line Goes Around the Block for ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: Road Chip’ Premiere
by Jack Hackett AMC PARKWAY POINTE—For the past few days, Alvin and the Chipmunks fans began forming a line outside
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Student Hastily Spends Remaining Dining Dollars on Overpriced Junk at Seeds
by Jack Hackett USC–On Sunday, Matt Jackson kicked open the doors to Seeds with a dumb grin on his face.
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Students-Athletes Outraged Over Lack of Handicap Access Ramps for Their Hoverboards
by Derl Clausen JOHN MCKAY CENTER–Last Tuesday, student-athletes from every team gathered outside the John McKay Center to express their
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Total Nerd Actually Studies for Final
by Axel Hellman, Cameron Gavinski, and Jack Hackett USC–This morning a complete nerd sat down to begin studying for his
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Tenured Professor Fired After Scathing Student Course Eval
by Amanda Suarez USC–“I’ve taught at this University for 20 years, and I’ve never had something like this happen!” Those
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Triumphant Freshman Adds Another Empty Alcohol Bottle to Windowsill
by Axel Hellman and Mark Lee NEW NORTH–Matt Kogger, a freshman drinking virtuoso, emptied the last drop of Jack Daniels
Read moreUSC Compromises with Protesters, Promotes One Part-Time Employee to Full-Time
by Thomas Marshall USC–After months of protesting from disgruntled part-time USC employees about unfair wages and hiring practices, the school
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Student Returns from Break to Find Roommate In Only Slightly Different Spot from When He Left
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett photos by Colton Stock USC–Sophomore Brandon Collins returned from break on Sunday to find his roommate Mikey
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USC Students Gather for Pagan Sacrificial Pyre
by Thomas Marshall and Jack Hackett USC–Last night, students gathered in Neo-Pagan tradition for a ceremonial sacrificial pyre. Neo-Paganism, also
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Spoiled Freshman Still Waiting for Maids to Do His Laundry
by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers USC–Freshman Percy Whittingham was shocked this morning to find his overflowing laundry bin still
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