Local News in Brief Poor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns February 5, 2018January 23, 2021 Hannah Ceselski 8510 Views by Hannah Ceselski SPRINGFIELD, MO -- Every Sunday night, matriarch Susan Hobbes treats her family to a special meal of Read more
College News in Brief USC Nikias Emerges From Cocoon of Duct Tape Following Conclusion of UCLA Rivalry Week November 20, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff 3907 Views news in photos Read more
Local News in Brief Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows November 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff 4926 Views by Ryan Zubery BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and Read more
Local News in Brief Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever September 19, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve 3863 Views by Chai Karve USC -- We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend Read more
News in Brief Toes Slip Out From Bottom of Blankie April 7, 2017January 23, 2021 Chai Karve 3086 Views by Chai Karve MAZDA BROOK, NJ -- Late Thursday night, in a suburban home in northern New Jersey, 7 year Read more
News in Brief Mom Only Person to Talk Shit to Daughter’s Face and Compliment Behind Back February 10, 2017February 10, 2017 Sydney Sanchez 3393 Views by Sydney Sanchez LOS ANGELES, CA -- After overhearing her mother on the phone, college sophomore Eloise Van realized that Read more
Entertainment News in Brief Netflix Adds “& Chill” Section Featuring Several Hours of Background Noise September 28, 2016January 21, 2021 Matt Hanisch 6323 Views by Matt Hanisch LOS GATOS, CA — Based on feedback from numerous sources, Netflix has discovered that its viewers no Read more
News in Brief Politics Dakota Access Pipeline Finds Alt. Route Through Black Neighborhood September 19, 2016January 21, 2021 Matt Hanisch 4533 Views by Matt Hanisch LAKE OAHE, ND — After enduring several protests from members of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, developers Read more
News in Brief Ralphs Fixes Typo, Adds Apostrophe September 12, 2016September 12, 2016 Chai Karve 3520 Views by Chai Karve COMPTON, CA -- At Ralphs Corporate Headquarters, panic is afoot. Top analysts in the company came to Read more
College News in Brief Rejected Rushee Celebrates Blackout Monday Alone in Room with Lights Off August 30, 2016June 17, 2020 Kim Rogers 2711 Views by Kim Rogers PARDEE— After a competitive rush process and a stinging rejection, Toby Webb came out on top and Read more