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News in Brief

News in Brief 

Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut

November 12, 2018January 23, 2021 Staff news in photos
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News in Brief Politics 

National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting

November 8, 2018June 19, 2020 Staff news in photos
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News in Brief 

Dish In Sink Doesn’t Care Who Washes It, Just Wants Yelling to Stop

September 6, 2018 Sam Kushell news in photos
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News in Brief 

Robert Durst Tries Stand-Up, Kills

March 6, 2018January 22, 2021 Alex Greenblatt

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alex Greenblatt COMEDY CELLAR — At a local open mic, real estate mogul, heir to the Seymore Durst, and

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Local News in Brief 

Poor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns

February 5, 2018January 23, 2021 Hannah Ceselski

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Hannah Ceselski SPRINGFIELD, MO — Every Sunday night, matriarch Susan Hobbes treats her family to a special meal of

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College News in Brief USC 

Nikias Emerges From Cocoon of Duct Tape Following Conclusion of UCLA Rivalry Week

November 20, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff news in photos

[vc_row][vc_column][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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Local News in Brief 

Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows

November 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and

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Local News in Brief 

Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever

September 19, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend

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News in Brief 

Toes Slip Out From Bottom of Blankie

April 7, 2017January 23, 2021 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MAZDA BROOK, NJ — Late Thursday night, in a suburban home in northern New Jersey, 7 year

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News in Brief 

Mom Only Person to Talk Shit to Daughter’s Face and Compliment Behind Back

February 10, 2017February 10, 2017 Sydney Sanchez

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sydney Sanchez LOS ANGELES, CA — After overhearing her mother on the phone, college sophomore Eloise Van realized that

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Recent Posts

  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

Article Roulette

Porn Star Hits Rock Bottom by Agreeing to Be in Ted Cruz’s Ad

February 24, 2016 Aaliyah Qureishi No Comment

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