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Local

Local 

Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi

September 28, 2020September 26, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan

By Drew Thomas-Nathan PASADENA, CA — You’ll never guess who I just saw at Kmart: Jenna’s Mom! By the way,

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College Local 

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

September 25, 2020September 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan

By Drew Thomas-Nathan OXFORD, OH — When a police officer pulled up to a house near the Miami University campus

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Local 

Amazon To Donate Organs From Employees Who Die On The Job

September 21, 2020January 23, 2021 Preston Long

By Preston Long  SEATTLE, WA — In an act of remarkable corporate philanthropy, online retail juggernaut Amazon announced today that

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Local 

San Francisco Instagram Models Praise Eternal Golden Hour

September 16, 2020September 16, 2020 Jack Martino

By Jack Martino SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the wildfires burning on the West Coast bring low air quality and

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Local 

“Babe, It’s Not What It Looks Like!” Claims Man Doing Exactly What it Looks Like

September 16, 2020September 13, 2020 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA — Cameron Winters found himself in deep trouble this week when his girlfriend, Alyssa

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Local 

Tesla Autopilot Swerves Elon Musk Into Oncoming Traffic In Elaborate First-Ever A.I. Kamikaze Attack

September 15, 2020September 15, 2020 Thomas Johnston

By Thomas Johnston LOS ANGELES, CA— In a horrific car non-accident that can only be explained as the first-ever A.I.

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Local 

Peaches Exhausted from Single-handedly Upholding Georgia’s Reputation

September 10, 2020September 21, 2020 Prerika Chawla

By Prerika Chawla MACON, GA – Georgia peaches have finally stepped up to say enough is enough. As Georgia reopens

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Local 

Kidney Donor Gives The Greatest Gift Of All— Friendship

September 9, 2020September 9, 2020 Mia Young

By Mia Young INDIANAPOLIS, IN —  After an arduous search for a compatible donor, hometown hero Fred Miller was able

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Local 

Millenial Woman Holding Out Hope That Trump’s Post Office Interference Delayed Hogwarts Letter

September 2, 2020January 23, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann

by Melanie Hoffmann GARDENA, CA – As Postmaster General Louis DeJoy overhauls the United States Postal Service, Americans are suffering

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Local 

Girl With Glasses Even Uglier Without Them

September 1, 2020August 31, 2020 Mia Young

By Mia Young BROOKLINE, MA — High school sophomore Gretchen Shaffer has been faced with an outpour of public disapproval

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

To Cut Water Use, USC Promises to Install New Drought-Tolerant Plants Every Three Weeks

To Cut Water Use, USC Promises to Install New Drought-Tolerant Plants Every Three Weeks

November 9, 2015 Axel Hellman No Comment

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