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  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
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Author: Jack Martino

World 

“I Can Fix Him” Says Bob the Builder’s Wife

June 2, 2022June 2, 2022 Jack Martino 3622 Views

By Jack Martino BOBSVILLE – On Sunday evening, celebrity contractor Robert Builder II was arrested for driving a dump truck

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Local 

Local Tree Falls in Woods, Police Find No Witnesses

February 1, 2021February 1, 2021 Jack Martino 1190 Views

By Jack Martino WASHINGTON – On Friday, Jimmy Bens, 16, discovered the corpse of a fallen fir tree with it’s

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Attention Vortex Local 

Top 10 COVID Friendly Things to Kiss on New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2020January 21, 2021 Jack Martino 1576 Views

By Jack Martino Here at The Sack of Troy, we value the safety of our readers during the COVID 19

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Local 

Police Raid Gingerbread Crack House During Pop Rock Bust

December 25, 2020December 27, 2020 Jack Martino 2290 Views

By Jack Martino SANTAVILLE, NORTH POLE – Following an anonymous tip that a local gingerbread house was a hotspot for

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Local Politics 

LA County Gives Up “Cool Mom” Title, Imposes Mandatory Bedtime

December 7, 2020January 21, 2021 Jack Martino 1407 Views

By Jack Martino LOS ANGELES, CA – As COVID-19 cases rise, Los Angeles County has officially abandoned the “cool mom”

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Attention Vortex College 

Quiz: Which Famous Historical Trainwreck Did You Feel Like This Semester?

November 23, 2020November 22, 2020 Jack Martino 177029 Views

by Jack Martino

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Attention Vortex Entertainment 

Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Albums of All Time” Finally Ranks Peppa Pig: My First Album at Number 1

November 11, 2020January 21, 2021 Jack Martino 2998 Views

By Jack Martino LOS ANGELES, CA – Every ten years or so, American music magazine Rolling Stone releases their picks

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Local 

Is Your Child Texting About COVID-19?

October 1, 2020October 1, 2020 Jack Martino 2692 Views

The Ultimate Guide to “Rona-Speak” For The Concerned Parent By Jack Martino If you haven’t noticed, your child has been

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College USC 

USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia

September 29, 2020September 26, 2020 Jack Martino 2569 Views

By Jack Martino LOS ANGELES, CA – The COVID-19 pandemic has shifted classes at the University of Southern California to

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Local 

San Francisco Instagram Models Praise Eternal Golden Hour

September 16, 2020September 16, 2020 Jack Martino 2717 Views

By Jack Martino SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the wildfires burning on the West Coast bring low air quality and

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

February 28, 2020 Finn Kobler No Comment

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