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Carol Folt Announces She Is Two Police Calls Away From A Free Sandwich

May 6, 2024May 6, 2024 Dean Woods

By Dean Woods LOS ANGELES, CA – On Sunday, May 5, 2024, Carol Folt called the LAPD to help their

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USC 

Guy Gets A Little Too Into TrojanLearn Roleplay

May 1, 2024May 2, 2024 Megan Dang

By Megan Dang LOS ANGELES, CA — USC sophomore Thomas Tracy raised some eyebrows when he was a little too

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USC 

USC Admin Only Making Bad Decisions Because They Like The News Helicopters

May 1, 2024April 29, 2024 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker LOS ANGELES, CA — USC President Carol Folt has announced the school’s administration has been purposefully creating

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USC 

USC Squirrel Held At Gunpoint By DPS For Trying To Enter Campus At Royal Street Entrance

April 29, 2024April 29, 2024 Noelle Medina

By Noelle Medina LOS ANGELES, CA – In light of the limited access to campus instated on April 23, 2024,

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USC 

Students Asked Not To Imagine Commencement As It Could Incite Violence

April 26, 2024April 26, 2024 Staff

By Staff LOS ANGELES, CA – With commencement now canceled, USC has asked that students stop engaging in imagining what

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USC 

USC’s DPS Zone Will Now Be Called Gotham City

April 22, 2024April 22, 2024 Dean Woods

By Dean Woods LOS ANGELES  GOTHAM CITY, CA – Over the weekend, USC’s Department of Public Safety announced some upcoming

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USC 

USC Career Fair Offering Internships to Winner of Mud Wrestling Bracket 

April 15, 2024April 14, 2024 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES, CA – In an exciting twist for upcoming graduates, USC announced that all open internship

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USC 

Traveler’s Early Retirement Followed by Suspicious Meat in the Parkside Dining Hall

March 25, 2024March 24, 2024 Dean Woods

By Dean Woods LOS ANGELES, CA – Following a typical Saturday evening at the Coliseum, packed with sweaty football fans,

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USC 

To Ensure Attention, USC Classrooms Will Now Feature TVs Playing Cropped Footage of Subway Surfers

February 13, 2024February 11, 2024 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to maintain student attention, USC will play cropped footage of

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USC 

Finals Week Theater Major Discovers Mysterious Campus Building Labelled “LIBRARY”

December 11, 2023December 11, 2023 Finn Rollings

By Finn Rollings LOS ANGELES, CA – A USC School of Dramatic Arts major has made archeological history this finals

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Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

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Male Art Critic Thinks The Mona Lisa Looks Tired, Should Smile More 

Male Art Critic Thinks The Mona Lisa Looks Tired, Should Smile More 

October 5, 2023 Megan Dang No Comment

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