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World

World 

JCPenney Now Only JC After Filing For Bankruptcy

May 20, 2020January 21, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Drew Thomas-Nathan PLANO, TX — On top of filing for bankruptcy and closing 242 stores, department store JCPenney announced

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World 

Seven-Year-Old Playing Doctor Put to Work in COVID-19 Unit

May 19, 2020January 21, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Melanie Hoffmann ONTARIO, CA — Medical school students across the country have been graduating early to help fight the

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Entertainment World 

New Netflix Dating Show Literally Just Locking Two Horses in a Barn and Swallowing the Key

May 18, 2020January 21, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Drew Thomas-Nathan LOS GATOS, CA — Have you already binged Too Hot to Handle and Love Is Blind? Want

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Politics World 

White House Panics After Grimes and Elon Musk Name their Baby the Nuclear Launch Codes

May 8, 2020January 21, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Melanie Hoffmann WASHINGTON, DC — When Tesla CEO Elon Musk and musical artist Claire Boucher (“Grimes”) announced the name

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Politics World 

CDC Recommends Everyone Wear Spider-Man Mask to Distract the Coronavirus and Let the Real Spider-Man Escape

April 23, 2020January 21, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Drew Thomas-Nathan QUEENS, NY — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention put out new guidelines Thursday morning urging

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Local World 

“Hey, This is Kinda Neat,” Reports Local Man After Washing His Hands for the First Time

April 9, 2020June 19, 2020 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jonathan Krone Dayton, OH — After widespread fear surrounding the recent outbreak of coronavirus, local man Dennis Whitman finally

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World 

Whole World Pivots to Video

April 6, 2020April 6, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Drew Thomas-Nathan EARTH — The entire world economy has finally pivoted to video content, your own eyes and ears confirmed

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Entertainment World 

“America’s Got Talent” Cancelled Because We Don’t

February 26, 2020January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Staff LOS ANGELES — The hearts of bored mothers everywhere were broken on Monday when NBC announced startling news: the

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Politics World 

Three Little Pigs Not Allowed to Testify, Big Bad Wolf Acquitted

February 6, 2020January 21, 2021 Seth Woodhouse

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Seth Woodhouse THE BIG WIDE WORLD —  The Aesopnate voted narrowly Friday to bring the imscreechment trial of the

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Entertainment World 

All the Memories From Before Mom Died That Are Now Available On Disney+

December 5, 2019January 21, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Drew Thomas-Nathan ANAHEIM, CA — The streaming wars are heating up, and your entertainment overlords over at the Walt

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

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The Great Migration: USC Students Flock East for Coachella

The Great Migration: USC Students Flock East for Coachella

April 11, 2025 Sarah Ruiz No Comment

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