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Politics

Politics 

CDC Announces There is No Bad Drug Interaction Between COVID Vaccine and Molly Just in Time for Festival Season

April 7, 2021April 5, 2021 Staff

By Staff Just in time for festival season, the CDC has announced that there is no bad drug interaction between

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Politics 

Texas Challenges Coronavirus to Good Ol’ Fashioned Western Showdown

March 3, 2021March 3, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes HIGH NOON, TOWN THAT AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US – As the sun crested

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Politics 

Democrats Crown Marjorie Taylor Greene As New Miss Donald Trump

February 25, 2021February 21, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes WASHINGTON D.C. – After a month-long deliberation period and multiple grueling evening wear segments, Democrats have finally

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Politics 

Congress Can’t Get Anything Done Because Mitch McConnell is Such a Pisces

February 23, 2021February 23, 2021 Darrien Snyder

By Darrien Snyder WASHINGTON, D.C. – At Republican Senator Mitch McConnell’s 79th birthday party last week, Senate members admitted that

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College Politics USC 

Conservatives Condemn USC for Inciting Violence With Motto “Fight On!”

February 19, 2021February 19, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp WASHINGTON – As part of the montage presented during the second impeachment trial, former President Donald Trump’s

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Politics 

Major Biden Named New Chief of DC Police To Accommodate Black Lives and All Lives Matter Activists

January 28, 2021January 26, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp Washington, DC – Mayor Bowser has picked First Dog Major Biden to replace outgoing Chief Newsham of

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Politics 

“You’ve Got What It Takes, Kid!” Ted Cruz Names Josh Hawley to Succeed Him As New Zodiac Killer

January 26, 2021January 25, 2021 Gitika Pahwa

By Gitika Pahwa WASHINGTON D.C. – In an intimate exchange between the two junior senators on the chamber floor, Ted

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Attention Vortex Politics 

QUIZ: Do You Deserve A Trump Pardon?

January 19, 2021January 21, 2021 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman It’s the last day of the Trump presidency, which means it’s time for some pardons on his

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Politics 

Trump Horrified to Learn Last Four Years Spent in Presidential Simulator Were Real

January 14, 2021January 21, 2021 Thomas Johnston

By Thomas Johnston WASHINGTON, D.C.— President Trump received a cruel wake-up call today when he finally discovered that the last

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Columns Politics Strong Feelings 

Opinion: Now Is Not the Time For Driving a Ship Through Ursula the Sea Witch’s Chest as She Cackles About Ruling the Seven Seas, Now Is the Time For Unity

January 12, 2021January 11, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

By Jetsam We were all shocked when Ursula the sea witch tricked King Triton into giving her his magic trident.

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Recent Posts

  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
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  • Carol Folt Dead

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Ass-Slapping Cyclist Reveals How the Pandemic Has Destroyed His Small Business

Ass-Slapping Cyclist Reveals How the Pandemic Has Destroyed His Small Business

September 23, 2020 Angie Stroud No Comment

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