Random Security Checks Extra Random Today
By Staff
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- Texas Mothers Scrambling to Arrange Last-Minute Baby Showers
- Britney Spears to Be Legally Bound to Another Man
Breaking News:
- “See, New York Is Just Fucking Better than LA,” Coughs USC New Yorker Through Cloud of Smoke
- College Graduate Keeps USC ‘23 as Instagram Bio After Realizing They Have No Personality
- Writer’s Strike Catches Up With Succession Finale As Logan Returns And Lays Waste To Westeros
- Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
- Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
