News in Brief
Failed Alcoholic Becomes Writer
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Thomas Marshall WRITER’S CAFÉ — In his younger years, Jack-Francis Jerome was your average, semi-successful alcoholic. He was well
Read moreObama Congratulates California As This Year’s ‘State of the Union,’ New York Declared Runner-up
by Mark Lee base photo by Susan Walsh
Read more
Student Hastily Spends Remaining Dining Dollars on Overpriced Junk at Seeds
by Jack Hackett USC–On Sunday, Matt Jackson kicked open the doors to Seeds with a dumb grin on his face.
Read moreLGBT Activists Mistakenly Protest in Favor of Trans-America Pipeline
by Thomas Marshall and Jack Hackett WASHINGTON D.C.–At a congressional hearing for the proposed Trans-America Pipeline that took place this
Read moreCalifornia Child Devastated, Only Got Kale for Halloween
by Staff CALIFORNIA, USA–Billy Preston, 6 year old from Santa Barbara, excitedly poured the contents of his candy bucket out
Read more
Only Student to Show Up to Thursday Night Class on Game Day
by Jack Hackett and Thomas Marshall A LONELY CLASSROOM–Colton Stock, a sophomore, made the unfortunate decision to schedule a thursday
Read more
It Rained Today, Drought Over
by Jack Hackett and Katarina Brandt SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA–Residents all over Southern California looked outside and witnessed water falling from the
Read moreNASA Recalls Claim, Water On Mars Actually Just Leak In Rover
by Jack Hackett HOUSTON, TX–On Monday September 28, 2015, NASA scientists verified the existence of water on Mars after a
Read more
Lyon Center Expansion Completed
by Axel Hellman Responding to student concerns about overcrowding at the Lyon Center, the University Office of Student Affairs has
Read more