California Child Devastated, Only Got Kale for Halloween

by Staff

CALIFORNIA, USA–Billy Preston, 6 year old from Santa Barbara, excitedly poured the contents of his candy bucket out on the living room floor, but was shocked to find mostly large quantities of kale.

He frantically dug through the pile on the floor, looking for any sweet treat to indulge in. He barely made out the one box of Hot Tamales through the tears in his eyes, yet before he could grab it, Dad swooped in.

“The candy tax,” Billy’s dad explained as he poured the whole box into his mouth.

Billy stared at his heap of low-carb, fat-free, non-GMO, certified organic snacks, praying someone, anyone would take his bag of chia seeds or mason jar of kombucha, but not even Rover would budge.

At this point, Billy would even get excited by a packet of Smarties.

However, he’s still disappointed about the Mounds bar in the pile.