LGBT Activists Mistakenly Protest in Favor of Trans-America Pipeline

by Thomas Marshall and Jack Hackett

WASHINGTON D.C.–At a congressional hearing for the proposed Trans-America Pipeline that took place this past Wednesday, representatives of the national gas lobby were surprised to find themselves met with outpouring support from mistaken LGBT rights activists.

Some of the confusion may have originated with the pipeline’s logo: a rainbow colored United States with the slogan “Progressing America to the Future.”

“I didn’t expect the gays to be so supportive,” said CEO of ExxonMobil, Thad Frackling. “Maybe I should start hiring them.”

Cheers erupted from the crowd sporadically during Frackling’s testimony, particularly following any mention of “laying pipe.”