Coy Barista Indicates She “Totally Wants It” With Polite, Forced Smile
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka LOS ANGELES, CA – A typical morning coffee run got a little hotter this week when local barista
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Local
Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend
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Dad At IKEA Tests Furniture With Crisp Knock and Declaration of “It’s Solid”
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve BURBANK, CA — Local father Gerald Muller roamed the walkways of IKEA with his collegiate daughter Beth
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Area Man Fiscally Conservative But Socially Awkward
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA — In a time of deep political division, area man Chase Stuart defies the
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Empty Nesters Adjust To One Less Disappointment in House
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kylie Charney-Harrington BELLEVUE, WA — Sunlight streamed through the French doors of Cathy McCormick’s split-level as she padded through
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“This is My Year,” says Woman Who’s Made Zero Changes
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte After a long, relaxing summer, junior Kelsey Holiday returned to campus excited to begin a new chapter
Read moreProfessor in Midst of Mid-Life Crisis Offers Extra Credit to Anyone Willing to Go to Burning Man With Him
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nolan Jones LOS ANGELES — After realizing that he was probably past the halfway point of his insignificant life,
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Area Woman Can’t Hear Date Over Ticking of Biological Clock
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA– No matter how close she leaned in, area woman Martha Pratt couldn’t make out
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Loft Beds Provide Low-Cost Alternative to Mile-High Club
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC Village — Sophomore Jacob Winschel may not have an eighteen thousand horsepower engine, a highly trained
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Woman with Pockets in Dress Incapable of Talking About Anything Else
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Kylie Charney-Harrington Hell-bent on demonstrating the utility of her stylish dress choice, local Laurel Hersey insisted on reminding every
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