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Editorial

Editorial Entertainment 

5 Hallmark Movies That Will Make You Want to Kill Yourself This Holiday Season

December 24, 2021December 24, 2021 Charlotte Phillipp

By Charlotte Phillipp  Nothing makes us feel more festive than a heartwarming TV movie during the holiday season, and the

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Attention Vortex Editorial 

8 Normalized Things We Need To Start Sexualizing

December 14, 2021December 14, 2021 Finn Kobler

By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be

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Columns Editorial Politics Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: Biden Won… So Why Am I Still Depressed?

December 11, 2020December 9, 2020 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With Biden’s official win of the electoral college it is guaranteed he will

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Editorial Politics 

The Sack of Troy Endorses Wallace Shawn For President

November 4, 2020January 21, 2021 Staff

After heavy deliberation, The Sack of Troy Editorial Board has concluded that we believe beloved socialist Wallace Shawn is the

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Editorial Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: Halloween or Not I’m Tryna Get Piped by Jack Skellington

October 30, 2020October 25, 2020 Callahan Teceno

LOS ANGELES, CA – Once again, spooky season has returned, giving me the perfect opportunity to finally come clean to

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Editorial 

I Can’t Believe Bars and Clubs Are Closed While I’m in My Sexual Prime!

September 8, 2020September 5, 2020 Johnny "Beef Boi" Romani

By Baby Nut CHICAGO, IL — Earlier this year the Planters mascot Mr. Peanut died in a horrible car crash

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Editorial Entertainment 

Cancel Culture Gone Too Far? Child Rapist Roman Polanski Hasn’t Won A Golden Globe In Over 9 Years!

August 28, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone

By Jonathan Krone PARIS, FRANCE – It’s hard to believe, but it’s been 9 years since Roman Polanski won a

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Editorial Politics 

The Sack of Troy Endorses Mikey McCormack For 8th Grade Class President

November 7, 2016January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] The Sack of Troy strives to bring our readers objective news they can trust, no matter their political leanings.

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College Editorial 

Staff Picks: Highly Recommended Fall Courses

August 10, 2015June 17, 2020 Staff List

by Staff With school right around the corner students are frantically searching for guidance on which courses to take; to

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Editorial 

Introduction from the Editor: Dear Foolish Americans, I come to Your Country in Peace

November 7, 2013February 25, 2022 Axel Hellman Letter from the Editor

by Axel Hellman Letter from the Editor: Greetings, wretched people of USC, and welcome to my wonderful publication, the Sack

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Kinky! This Couple Keeps the Lights On While They Fight

Kinky! This Couple Keeps the Lights On While They Fight

April 19, 2023 Liam Stephenson No Comment

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