Total Nerd Actually Studies for Final
by Axel Hellman, Cameron Gavinski, and Jack Hackett USC–This morning a complete nerd sat down to begin studying for his
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College
Tenured Professor Fired After Scathing Student Course Eval
by Amanda Suarez USC–“I’ve taught at this University for 20 years, and I’ve never had something like this happen!” Those
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Triumphant Freshman Adds Another Empty Alcohol Bottle to Windowsill
by Axel Hellman and Mark Lee NEW NORTH–Matt Kogger, a freshman drinking virtuoso, emptied the last drop of Jack Daniels
Read moreUSC Compromises with Protesters, Promotes One Part-Time Employee to Full-Time
by Thomas Marshall USC–After months of protesting from disgruntled part-time USC employees about unfair wages and hiring practices, the school
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Student Returns from Break to Find Roommate In Only Slightly Different Spot from When He Left
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett photos by Colton Stock USC–Sophomore Brandon Collins returned from break on Sunday to find his roommate Mikey
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USC Students Gather for Pagan Sacrificial Pyre
by Thomas Marshall and Jack Hackett USC–Last night, students gathered in Neo-Pagan tradition for a ceremonial sacrificial pyre. Neo-Paganism, also
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Spoiled Freshman Still Waiting for Maids to Do His Laundry
by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers USC–Freshman Percy Whittingham was shocked this morning to find his overflowing laundry bin still
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USC Professor Names Feces-Eating Bacterium in Honor of Grad Students
by Joseph Grazier Fantastic strides were made today in the relatively narrow realm of grad student-professor relations; A newly discovered
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Cinema Students Protest Dental Students Using Their Coffee Bean
by Jack Hackett SCHOOL OF CINEMATIC ARTS–Yesterday, film students protested dentists constantly “taking over” the Coffee Bean, a feud many
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To Cut Water Use, USC Promises to Install New Drought-Tolerant Plants Every Three Weeks
by Axel Hellman USC–As the state has dried up, USC has faced increasing criticism from environmental activists for its lush
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